Hope Begins in the Mind
So you would like to find some hope for your marriage even when you see no possible solutions. Hang in there – there is always hope.
Do you know that our thoughts are the beginning of our destiny, the birth or death of our hope? That’s where it all starts.
“Watch your thoughts, they become words; watch your words, they become actions; watch your actions, they become habits; watch your habits, they become character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.” - Author unknown
The bible tells us to “take your thoughts captive.” Contrary to what the world would have us think, we can have control of our thoughts.
Divorce all starts in someone’s mind, in their thinking. It’s what you do with those thoughts that determine what will happen to your marriage. If you take the negative thoughts and refuse to act on them, refuse to allow them to dominate your thinking, you can change the destructive path your marriage might be heading.
Philippians 4:8 says, “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things.”
So you see, whenever those negative thoughts about your spouse, in particular, occur, you have the power to stop them. How? Determine not to dwell on those negative thoughts. Start focusing your thoughts on something else, preferably, something positive about your spouse.
When I was ready to call it quits with my marriage, I would look in the faces of my small children and realize that I didn’t want to put them through the pain of divorce as I had known as a teenager, and still suffered as an adult. I didn’t want to wind up like my father, who left my mother for the other woman and led a very difficult life after that, only to die early at the age of 61.
God had also been reminding me that He wouldn’t be happy if I divorced my husband. At first, I didn’t want to hear anything He tried to tell me, but eventually, I wondered if He might be my only answer. Nothing had worked doing it my way up to that point.
I asked God to show me how to love my husband again. What did He do? He started reminding me of the wonderful traits about my husband that first attracted me to him. I began to dwell on the positive attributes of my husband, and my feelings started to change towards him. The love gradually returned, and wound up stronger than it had been before we had our problems.
Begin to focus on the wonderful things about your spouse that first attracted you to them. You will see a change in your attitude AND theirs.