GPS to a Joyful Marriage

Happy New Year! Can you believe we’ve finished the first decade already in the 21st century? Where does the time go? I’m still talking about adultery. Unfortunately, it’s a very real threat in our society. Approximately one in every 2.7 couples will deal with adultery in their marriage. These numbers are not completely accurate as many people resist being honest about their infidelity. The Internet has caused major problems with adultery, making it so much easier to meet a willing partner, and the accessibility of pornography at one’s fingertips has led to another level of infidelity. According to Jesus, lust in your mind is no different than having a physical affair. (Matthew 5:28   But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart .)  How many married people commit adultery in their minds through viewing pornography? Society will quickly tell us it’s not the same. What do you t...

I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas! I am always amazed at how quickly my favorite day of the year comes and goes. A part of me feels sad when Christmas Day ends. The anticipation and preparations are over, and worst of all, my family leaves to go back to their own homes. Back to reality. I have been talking about infidelity. What an uncomfortable word. I want to look at what the Bible says about adultery and divorce. There are many references to marrying someone else after you’ve divorced as committing adultery, but no specific verses that deal with adultery as a reason for divorce. In Matthew 19 verse 3, the Pharisees followed Jesus to Judea. They tempted Jesus with questions about divorce. In verse 3, they ask, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” Jesus answers in verses 4 and 5, “Haven’t you read that at the beginning the Creator made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united...

Yes, adultery is a heinous crime against the person you promised to love and honor.  Most people don’t intentionally seek to engage in an adulterous affair, it just happens. (There are exceptions to this rule, too, of course.) Adultery is usually a symptom of a problem in a relationship. Because men are physically based, they receive their sense of intimacy from sex. Women are emotionally based and receive their sense of intimacy through emotions. While sex is an obvious method for us to recognize, emotional intimacy comes in different shapes and sizes. Men in particular, need to learn what methods work best for their wives (spending time with them, talking to them, taking care of the children, etc.) to achieve emotional intimacy. Healthy emotional intimacy for women is foreplay to them. Men need physical intimacy (sex) to feel emotional intimacy, and women need emotional intimacy to feel like having sex. We need to recognize these differences and make sure to satisfy our spo...

With all the recent news about Tiger Woods, I feel compelled to discuss the delicate subject of infidelity. It is hard to imagine how someone who appeared to ‘have it all together,’ lived a secret life of lies and indiscretions. And not only once, but many, many times. I can see how celebrities easily become intoxicated by the adoration of fans. Tiger, no doubt, had women pursuing him relentlessly. He also spent excessive time away from his wife and family, making him more vulnerable to persistant women. Most celebrities cannot help but get caught up in their own glory and probably feel that they are above the expectations of ‘normal folk’. I’m sure Tiger had people covering his tracks for him. How else would this have stayed a secret for so long with so many women? Imagine. They ignored his sin because he was Tiger Woods. We have made such gods out of celebrities in this country that they forget they are only human. Only by the grace of God will they ever be able to kee...