GPS to a Joyful Marriage

When I first turned my life over to God, one of my favorite praise songs I learned was “I Cast All My Cares.” “I cast all my cares upon You.  I lay all of my burdens down at Your feet.  And anytime I don’t know what to do, I will cast all my cares upon You.” Such a simple song with a powerful message.  To this day I still sing that song to myself when I don’t know what to do.  It soothes my soul.  You might walk by a window to my house at one of those moments and see the tears rolling down my face as I’m singing out to God with my arms outstretched wide.  The problems may not be solved or dissolved, but God gives me peace that surpasses all understanding.  I can then move on and not feel so crippled by fear or pain. If you struggle with turning things over to God, maybe you should find a song or a Bible verse that soothes your soul - something that reminds you of God’s amazing grace and mercy. You might say, “Oh but you don’t know what I’m going through.”  You’re r

I’ve been pondering all week on “giving the advantage” verses “taking the advantage”.  Those words speak volumes about a healthy relationship, and I can’t say enough about their importance. When a marriage is headed for divorce, I believe that “selfishness” is the cause (regardless of the circumstances) by one of the spouses, often times both.  “Taking the advantage” is bred by selfishness.  Taking the advantage means to manipulate, misuse, abuse, usually to get one’s own way.  Hmm.  Sounds like a child of selfishness to me. Selfishness is also the reason for backsliding from your relationship with God and refusing to include God in your life.  Self is a four letter word in my personal dictionary, and I see it over and over in couples as the major culprit that will quickly destroy a marriage, not to mention the plan that God has so carefully prepared for you. Below is a link for an article about selfishness on the website for the Institute of Marital Healing.  There is

Twice, now, in the past ten days I have heard this explanation of love.  " Love is giving the advantage to someone, not taking it." One thing I have learned over my spiritual journey is not to ignore a message from God.  If He wants us to hear something, He’ll often relay it to us at various times and through numerous people.  I don’t know exactly for whom these words are intended (most likely, myself), but I do know I plan to add them to my long list of “marriage pointers”.  They speak volumes. We all know what “taking advantage” means.  We are programmed, in our society, to prevent anyone from laying this kind of abuse on us.  Sometimes, though, our heart interferes with what’s right, and we allow those we love to walk all over us.  It is a difficult, unpleasant role to take, one that we should never impart on our spouse.  It easily happens, though, when a couple begins to take each other for granted.  "Taking for granted" is the step that comes before 

I want to share something Rick and I have learned, after all these years, that breaks the cycle of arguing for us:  If I’m having a bad day or may be hormonally challenged, Rick will listen to me rant, but he holds his tongue and says nothing.  He also tries not to smile at my silliness.  I usually wind down and see the stupidity in my ranting then apologize if I need to.  Rick doesn’t take it to heart, and I never have the chance to get offended by something Rick might have blurted out in retaliation that could lead to a fight.  An argument is eliminated, and I’m convicted of the foolishness of my words.  I do the same thing when he’s had a rough day.  We don’t allow a fight to begin.   If we have a response to the other’s irrational behavior, and if it is important enough to say, it can wait until the next day when the other person is feeling rational.  We don’t allow the devil to infiltrate our marriage oasis by instigating an unnecessary reaction that could turn into a full bl