GPS to a Joyful Marriage

Ephesians 4:26, 27 says, “In your anger do not sin.  Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” “In your anger do not sin.”  That’s a tough one.  Our anger causes us to react in a way that is often contrary to our normal personality.  We often sin without thinking in a state of anger. I find myself spewing words at my husband that sound as though some little demon has taken over my body.  It literally catches me off guard at times, and I am shocked at my reaction.  I hate when that happens.  Those times have become much fewer as I’ve become older and wiser.  (Once I get through this hormonal rollercoaster ride I hope to breeze through life with even less little demon outbursts.) It is impossible to take back words that we have carelessly thrown at someone.  Our anger causes us to not think before we speak.  We only want to defend ourselves when someone offends us.  The battle begins and all the rational words go out the window.  D

Ephesians 4:25 “Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body.  I personally believe that many Christians have abused this verse to justify their harsh words.  “But the Bible tells us to speak the truth,” I’ve heard couples in counseling say.  Yes, we don’t want to tell lies to our spouse or our neighbors, but we also don’t want to tell them every thought, good or bad, that arises in our head.  Many times, it is wiser to say nothing than to risk speaking unwholesome talk.  Verse 29 in this same chapter says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”  If your words are not going to ‘build someone up according to their needs’, then don’t say it.  Proverbs 10:19 says, “When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.” The only time we are called to ‘tell

Eph. 4:22-24 tells us, “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” These verses say it all in the key to a successful marriage (next to having God in the center). I have talked and talked about “self” and will probably talk and talk some more about it. Self is the major culprit of problems in marriages and in our relationship with God. If you put an “h” in front of self, (maybe to represent him or her), then spell it backwards, you have “flesh” Flesh and self go hand in hand. One begets the other. The first step in putting off your old self is the desire to do so. We need God’s help to do this. I was amazed at how quickly I threw off my old self when I finally realized that I desperately needed help. I was willing to do whatever I had to do to change my life an

One of my favorite books in the Bible is Ephesians. Paul gives us some wonderful guidance in this book for Christian living. My favorite verses on marriage are in the 5th chapter of Ephesians. I want to spend some time looking at these valuable verses. I’m going to start in the 4th chapter, though, because the suggestions here for individuals are necessary for a healthy marriage. Ephesians 4: 17-19 “So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more.” Does this sound like the state of our society or what? You could replace the word “Gentiles” with “people who aren’t walking with God.” I wish I could