Showing posts from September, 2013

Letting Go - Part 3

I’ve always had the tendency to look ahead too far instead of focusing on the immediate moment.  I spent excessive hours agonizing over the day my children would leave me.  While in Australia, with that thought heavy on my mind, I isolated myself from possible friendships and spent every moment I could with my children.  As they were very active teenagers, I had lots of time to feel lonely and sorry for myself.  Megan’s illness was an eye opener for me.  Now, instead of fretting over the thought of her going off to college, I had to face the risk of losing her permanently to death.  Leaving for college was so insignificant compared to that.  How pathetic I had looked in nurturing my selfish pity as I now faced the uncertainties for her young life.  I had to remind myself that she didn’t belong to me; she was loaned to me by God, to raise and nurture.  Her life was up to Him. I was tired of this struggle and didn’t want to resist anymore.  I didn’t want to get in the way of Meg

Letting Go - Part 2

I spent the first week in learning of Megan’s health issue in a state of shock.  As the amazing leader he is, Rick shook off  his state of shock after the first day and took charge to face the situation ahead of us.  He prayed with me, and I felt immediate peace.  I have always known the power of prayer, but I hadn’t experienced it quite so instantly as I did through the prayers of my warrior husband. That second week, though, my mind went in to overload.  I tend to analyze everything and what God might be trying to teach me through it.  Along with the awareness of struggling to let go of my children came the reality that I also had prioritized my children ahead of my husband.  Ouch!  It’s not so fun when you ask God to reveal weak areas in your life and He does.  It is part of this lesson we call life, though. Megan’s health began to deteriorate and she lost her appetite, quickly losing weight in the process.  We visited her surgeon thinking we would be going for pre-op prepa

Letting Go

In May of 2003, we lived in Australia where my husband was the Defense Attaché to the American Embassy in Canberra.  Originally scheduled to leave in June, we extended our assignment for six months so our daughter, Megan, could finish high school there.  (The school year goes from January to December in Australia.) Megan came home from school on May 19 th not feeling well.  She complained of pain in her right side.  Her symptoms weren’t severe, but I questioned if we should go to the emergency room in case it might be her appendix.  One of Megan's best friends lived down the street, and her father was a doctor.  He came to the house to look at Megan and let me know if she needed immediate attention.  He carefully examined her abdomen and lingered there for a while.  He looked at me with concern and said, “I don’t think it’s her appendix or anything that needs to be taken care of tonight, but there’s something going on that won’t be quickly fixed. I had no idea what he was

Don't Let the World Sink Your Ship

From Billy Graham’s book  “Day Hope for Each:” "We know that He abides in us, by the Spirit whom He has given us" (1 John 3:24). A boat doesn’t sink because it is in the water; it sinks because the water gets into it. In the same way, Christians don’t fail to live as they should because they are in the world; they fail because the world gets into them. We don’t fail to produce the fruit of the Holy Spirit because we live in a sea of corruption; we fail because the sea of corruption has gotten into us. It can happen almost without our realizing it. At one time, we were dedicated to Christ, surrendered to the will of God. But little by little, the chilling waters of the world crept in. We became preoccupied with the things of this world rather than the things of Christ. Most oceangoing ships have pumps running constantly, sucking out any water that might have leaked into the hull. Similarly, we need to keep the pumps of repentance running. We need to plug t

Confess the Offense

Pastor Garcia had a great message Sunday (as usual) about longsuffering.  One of his points was how the fruit from longsuffering will enable us to control our anger.  Scripture tells us not to hold it in or pretend you’re not angry. (Eccles.7:9)  Pastor Garcia said we should “confess it at the offense.” Funny, Rick and I had just talked about that on our way to church.  We talked about how far I had come in expressing my thoughts and opinions.  When I was growing up, my father ruled the nest.  His word was the ONLY word.  No one dared question it.  (Of course, my father was also 6’6” and looked like John Wayne with a very domineering manner. I was afraid of him.)  I grew up believing I had no opinion.  If I did, it didn’t matter, and I certainly couldn’t voice it. When Rick and I married, we started out with wedded bliss but it quickly dissolved after our children came along.  I never told him what bothered me until issues piled up, and I could hold them in no longer, usually