GPS to a Joyful Marriage

I have been discussing, what I consider to be, the three stages of our spiritual and marital walk.  Many couples remain in the second stage of marriage, lacking the self-control necessary for a pure relationship with their spouse.  There are also many spirit-filled, church-going, bible speaking Christians who will never reach this third stage of their walk with God. Matthew 7:21,22 tells us, “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord’, will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.  Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and i n your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?’  Then I will tell them plainly, ‘I never knew you.    Away from me, you evildoers!’” “I never knew you.”  Those are powerful words Jesus speaks in Matthew.  We as Christians easily fall into the trap of performing works in the church and in our lives, sometimes only to show others how spiritual we are.  Jesus w

The third stage brings us to a place of purity.   We’ve figured it out.   Our only goal is to do God’s will in our lives and in our marriage.   Every move we make goes through God first.   Not everyone makes it to this stage.   It involves a complete surrender of self.   There will always be a struggle in fighting our self, but at this stage, you know how to battle against it and rarely face it anymore.   (Self is the biggest factor that will keep you from a pure relationship with God and with your spouse.   I still see it control many church-going, faith-filled Christians.) At this stage, you understand what marriage is all about.    You’ve become one spiritually.  You’ve taken on parts of the good qualities your spouse exemplifies and you’ve joined in the middle, completing the two halves God put together.   For example:   when Rick and I first married we did a personality test, and he tested off the charts on the end of dominance.   I, on the other hand, scored off the

There are two options for married couples: fight through the storms of marriage and stay together or give up and divorce.  In our society, 50% of marriages end in divorce (60% in Florida).  Half of the couples quit during the storm or in the midst of the fire.  They can’t take the heat.   While going through the storms of marriage is very difficult (I certainly felt like quitting), it’s worth it all to persevere and work out the problems.  This is the best time to “figure it out”.  If you don’t, you’ll carry the same garbage on to any future relationships, only magnifying the heat of the storms to come.  You may think another woman’s husband looks more attentive, more helpful, more loving, but I promise you, there would be another set of issues you’d have to deal with if you were married to him.  You will experience storms in every marriage. Men and women are so very different from each other.  It wasn’t meant to be easy for us to live together.  I personally believe that is w

Half of the married couples in our country will not make it through the Survival Stage. (Check out the two previous articles on Spirituality and Marriage.)    They can’t take the fire.   Precious metals have to go through fire to be perfected.    So do our relationships with God and with our spouse. What does it take to get through the fire?   Commitment - conviction - p erseverance to continue no matter what.   When I hear newlyweds say they’ll just divorce if things don’t work out, I know things are not going to work out for them. Every relationship will go through the fire, and everyone makes their own choice whether to continue or not, regardless of the circumstances.   If you and your spouse refuse to allow the word “divorce” in your vocabulary and thoughts, you will never have to face it.   It all starts in your thinking.   Just don’t go there – divorce cannot be an option.   Make the choice to commit your life to God and to your spouse.  (If you are not yet married, I w