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Showing posts from June, 2014

This Marriage Thing

I’ve been thinking about this marriage thing.  (That’s actually not too unusual considering I’m in marriage ministry.)  I mean really thinking about it and trying to figure out a solution - a solution to an age old problem that seems to affect every couple at one time or another, especially when the children are young.
Once again I listened to a tired mother complain how she works all day long and then comes home to fix dinner, clean-up, bathe the kids and put them to bed while her husband sits on the couch watching television. 
What does a woman do?  It can drive you to the point of wanting to walk out the door.  I know that’s how I felt, and I only worked part-time.  That was the beginning of some big issues between my husband and me that almost destroyed our marriage. 
Aside from the point that most men are not wired to do the domestic thing (there are a few exceptions, of course) here are some ideas to make home life a time that you both share.  I’m not promising you complete chang…

Expectations

I believe that one reason we find ourselves in silly arguments that easily escalate into full blown fights, is that we don’t always voice our expectations with our spouse.

I find that, occasionally, I will come to a conclusion about a situation, in my mind, and neglect to tell my husband, or even other people, what I’ve decided.  I move on assuming everyone knows where I’m coming from.  Of course, my husband should be able to second guess my actions; we’ve been married for thirty-three years. (Ha ha!  That couldn’t be farther from the truth!)  Needless to say, things don’t get completed very efficiently when no one knows what you expect, and a situation like this easily turns into a fertile breeding ground for arguments.
Recently, we were in a social situation and nearing the time to leave, and Rick neglected to voice his expectations to me.  I am such a people person that at a party, I want to talk to everyone.  It seems that Rick thought we were leaving and got upset with me when I wa…

Fear = Faith in the Devil

“Fear is a vital response to physical and emotional danger—if we didn't feel it, we couldn't protect ourselves from legitimate threats. But often we fear situations that are far from life-or-death, and thus hang back for no good reason. Traumas or bad experiences can trigger a fear response within us that is hard to quell. Yet exposing ourselves to our personal demons is the best way to move past them.”                                                                Psychology Today
Fear, logical or irrational, is a real emotion that women seem to struggle with at higher levels than most men. Yes, we have crazy hormones that make us vulnerable at times, but it could also be that we express ourselves more openly.  Our thoughts run continuously and we need to get them out!  Men, on the other hand, have always been told to “be strong” and not show signs of weakness.  Besides, they can compartmentalize any negative thoughts into one of their little boxes in their brains and never th…

Where Is My Peace?

Okay.  The wedding is over and with no children left to marry off and no imminent plans for an exciting event in the near future, I’ve reluctantly come down from the fairy tale high that usually embraces a wedding.  I’m back to obsessing about what I need to do to turn our ministry into a full-time venture. 
For numerous years I’ve worked hard on the ministry my husband and I share.  I’ve come to a point where the direction isn’t quite as I had planned it to be.  (I’m continuously analyzing how I believe that path should look.)  I think too much, and I try too hard to make things happen.  I’m impatient and too eager to move in the direction God has planned for me.  I would like to move a little faster - maybe a lot faster than the pace He seems to be taking.  I battle to maintain my peace, the best gift I receive from God, when I get so preoccupied with making things happen.
On Saturday I felt tired of the whole process; I couldn’t do it anymore. I had to let go. While struggling with w…