GPS to a Joyful Marriage

I spoke at a women’s event last week, and I mentioned how we need to deal with the little things of marriage or take the chance that they may turn into insurmountable problems that lead to divorce.  The little things are the beginning of divorce - like toilet seats and toothpaste tubes – when not resolved. As I watched all the women shaking their heads “yes”, I told them that sounds like a great title for my next book, “Divorce Begins with the Toilet.”  (Hmm.  MY husband didn’t find this nearly as humorous as I did.) Every new bride is forced into reality the first time she bottoms out in the toilet, half-asleep, in the middle of the night.  Her husband neglected to put the seat down.  Thus begins the decay of happily-ever-after as she ponders, “If he really loved me he’d remember to put the toilet seat down!”  Most men don’t have a clue why this is such an issue for us ladies.  My practical husband says, “Can’t you look first?” In defense...

As you start out your day today, please remember to pray for all the people in the northeast affected by the hurricane.  I pray it doesn’t become the storm that’s predicted.  I’m grateful to have my mom here, who returned with me from Pennsylvania, and my brother from Delaware, but I still have lots of family in Pennsylvania and friends all over the northeast.  My thoughts and prayers are with all of you. One of the major difficulties we encounter with couples we counsel is that of step-children.  Second marriages bring baggage that not only includes unresolved relationship issues, but also the burden of resistant children and families.  Second marriages fail mostly because of the inability to blend two families together.  Children can form an insurmountable wall between couples that most people don’t know how to tear down. The bond between a mother and her children is so powerful, th a t sometimes, even a biological father can feel left out....

We can quickly become complacent in our Christian walk and in our marriage.   The conditions of our spirituality and our marriage relationship usually parallel each other. When one is in trouble, the other suffers too.   Rick always tells couples that when there are problems in their marriage, they should first analyze their vertical relationship with God.   There is a powerful connection there. We as Christians have programmed ourselves to “turn everything over to God”.   Now, I’ll be the first to tell you how wonderful it is to do that, BUT, we also need to take action when doing so.   We can’t just profess our faith and then sit back and do nothing.    That seems to be a common issue keeping many Christian couples from a healthy relationship. James 2:15-17 says, “Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food.  If one of you says to him, “Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about his physical...

It is a well known fact that the divorce rate of Christians is just as high as that of the secular world.  Some statistics claim it to be even higher.  How can that be? I’ve spent a lot of time pondering this very question.  Through our counseling with couples and in observing the rituals of churchgoers, I have come to realize, what I believe to be, some of the reasons for these statistics. We can go to church every Sunday and even on Wednesdays.   We can spend many hours involved in church ministries. We can read the Bible every day and spend time with the Lord in prayer.   We are still human, though, and face decisions every day whether to follow our own desires (our self) or the plan that God intends for us. “Self” interrupts God’s plan and wreaks havoc on marriage relationships. Fighting “self’ is a daily struggle some Christians never overcome.  It may be a problem they don't acknowledge in spite of all their prayer time and church time. ...

I have continuously talked about the importance of watching your thoughts and your words. It occurred to me that I’ve neglected to point out the one specific word we should never allow into our consciousness - the “D” word - divorce. I believe that most people think about the option of divorce at one time or another in their marriage. That is the point that you must immediately take it captive. Don’t allow it in your thinking or ever enter into your conversation (when it pertains to your marriage).  All divorce begins as a thought in someone's head. Once you take the step of allowing that thought to enter your mind, you risk the danger of it fermenting, like a cancer, to rear it’s ugly head when you face a difficult time in your marriage. At that point, it lulls you into believing it to be the only answer for you, a way out of an unbearable situation. It is nothing less than a lie of the enemy trying to destroy your marriage and the lives of your family. What do our worl...