Showing posts from July, 2009

"Do Not Deprive Each Other"

Couples often get caught up in a vicious cycle of selfishness when it comes to sex. The wife doesn’t get enough affection and emotional intimacy so she denies him sex. The last thing he wants to do when he isn’t getting sex is to be affectionate and emotionally intimate. It is important to break this cycle that most couples fall into at one time or another. Start by taking your SELF off of it. Most men and women have very different sex drives from each other. This is where 'putting your spouses needs ahead of your own' is crucial. A happy husband is one who doesn't feel deprived of the sex he needs (most men's TOP priority.) A happy wife is one who feels loved, taken care of, and gets all the attention she needs (sex comes AFTER that for her.) While you are busy trying to discover the combination to unlock your fulfilling sex life, realize the easiest way is to put your spouse’s needs ahead of yours. Men, consciously give your wife all the emotional intimacy she

Men and Intimacy

Men have different intimacy needs than women. They desire physical intimacy (sex) above all else. It is a true physical need for them with spiritual and emotional intimacy paling in comparison. Men are physically driven, turning to sex when they have a need for loving closeness. The least bit of affection is sexual foreplay to most men. Only after the sex will they desire emotional intimacy. God certainly had a sense of humor when he gave men and women such different sex drives. (He knew we would have to ask for directions.) Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule - the tables may be turned in some relationships. In any healthy relationship, you can’t have sex without affection or vice versa. Affection is a large part of emotional intimacy for women. How do we solve the problem of women needing emotional intimacy before sex while men desire sex before they can be emotionally intimate? Addressing this valuable piece of information is crucial in dealing with the issue.

Intimacy and Sex

I'm back!! After a trip that made Chevy Chase's vacation movies look mild, I'm glad to be in the serenity of my home. As a little more time passes between me and this experience, I'm sure I will be able to write a humorous story about our adventures. Not ready for that yet! To give you just a taste, I take Rick to an orthopedist tomorrow morning to get a cast on his broken ankle. That happened on our way to Pennsylvania, after we spent two nights in Georgia where our RV broke down. We did have a fabulous time with our children and our family in Pennsylvania. I wasn't ready for all that to come to an end. My apologies for not being able to post any new articles. I had no access to the Internet except for my son's IPhone and I couldn't open the article I had written and saved in my email. (I had no brain cells left to rewrite it by this point.) I will now be venturing into an area that is very important for the health of a marriage relationship, Inti

The Ephesians Prayer

My dear friends, I am arriving in Pennsylvania today to visit family and friends. Both our adult children and our future daughter-in-law have ventured on this trip with Rick and me, so I know we'll be having a great time! My access to the Internet may be limited, and I will probably not post an article on Friday. We won't be headed back to Florida until next Monday, but I hope to have a new posting by then, one way or the other! Stay tuned. I've been talking about how the devil doesn't want you to be successful in your marriage or Christian walk and will continue to bombard you with negative thoughts to sidetrack you. He wants you to be weighed down with lots of baggage from your past. We need to learn to control our thoughts and get rid of those ideas that hinder our relationships with God and our spouse. The best way I've discovered to fight the enemy is to pray the Ephesians prayer every day. I wanted to share it with you because it is very powe

The Ability to Love:Getting Rid of the Baggage

Where do you begin to break the bondage of your past? On your knees is the best place to start. Ask God for His help. Ask Him to reveal the areas you need to deal with, and ask Him what you need to do to overcome it. Hand it all over to Him. If we include God in our journey to discard the baggage, the human steps will come much easier. Remember, He will reveal things to you that may seem overwhelming. He will not give you any more than you can handle though. Take one step at a time. You need to face the objects of your bondage. Open the door, talk about it. God is an amazing listener. Sometimes, just verbalizing a problem is half of the solution. Discussing it with your spouse will form an intimate bond between the two of you if they’re willing to listen and you’re willing to open up to them. Understand that the devil wants nothing more than to keep you enslaved. He doesn’t like successful Christians or successful marriages. He wants us to believe that his lies are the truth. Tho

The Ability to Love

I’ve been talking about what love is according to the Bible. Adam and Eve set the course for love in marriage, and the Bible tells men to love their wives and women to respect their husbands. Now, I want to discuss the wordly issues that can get in the way of our ability to love. We are all born with the capability to love and the desire to be loved. That love can be crushed, poisoned, and tarnished before we reach adulthood. Many of us come from dysfunctional childhoods where love was withheld or displayed improperly. Inadequate feelings of childhood love often cause poor self esteem or sense of worth. You need to love who you are (yourself) before you can truly love someone else. Our sense of worth is often only realized when we invite God into our lives and discover what love really is. His unconditional love for us is the ultimate example of true love. This love of yourself sounds contradictory to the previous references to self mentioned in earlier blog postings. Self-esteem

More on Submission

Submission from the wife does not give the husband freedom to dictate and make all the rules. In a healthy marriage, couples will discuss everything, together. A wise man will value the suggestions and opinions of his Godly wife and not hesitate to use them. I can count on my husband for sound advise and judgment. I know we will not make a move, regardless of who’s idea it was, unless it has been supported by God. Being submissive to a Godly husband means that you know God will be involved in any decision making. Submissiveness does not mean the husband rules the wife with an iron fist, barking out orders that please his SELF. Husbands need to give up SELF and submit to God’s will in order for a wife to willingly follow his lead. Someone once asked Rick, "I'm confused about being the leader of the house. How can I be the boss without being bossy?" Jesus was a servant leader. He didn't "boss" people around. He led by example. He put the needs of other