GPS to a Joyful Marriage

James 4:1-3 -  “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don’t get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.” These verses in James tell it like it is. If you seem to be caught in a never-ending cycle of fighting with your spouse, you may want to take some time to study these verses. Instead of blaming your spouse for everything, why not look at what is going on in your own heart. Are your problems that you continually struggle with traced to your own personal SELF-ish motives or desires? Do you feel entitled to something that may be unattainable or unreasonable or not part of God's will for your life? Do your desires become demands? Do you self-righteously judge others? Do you struggle to be free ...

God created us with free will, meaning we could make our own decisions and live life according to His way or our own way. Because of the fall of man, we have a bit of rebelliousness in all of us. We constantly struggle with SELF. SELF always wants it's own way, not God's way or a spouse's way. Our selfish and sinful nature interferes with God’s plan for us. When we give into our SELF, we jeopardize relationships and cause disruptions in society. Our society has fallen to an immoral state of ‘no right or wrong’ because the trend has been to think about ones SELF. If it feels good, do it. We no longer are taught to put the needs of others ahead of our SELF. We bring this worldly attitude into our marriage relationship. Conflict starts with the rising of that inner beast called SELF. When SELF feels threatened to not get it’s own way, ridiculed, or offended, it needs to strike in order to justify it's SELF. We are taught in the world to “Defend your SELF! Don’t let th...

As a fighter pilot, my husband flew countless sorties (a mission designed for preparation of war) to ingrain his reactions to a real war so there would be no surprises. Police officers train for situations that would render an ordinary citizen helpless. Like them, we need to strengthen our marriages and prepare for circumstances that could destroy an unsuspecting couple. We enter into matrimony oblivious to the truth of marriage. The pheromones that cloud our thinking, the romantic music of our emotions that hinder our listening, and the look of love that blinds our sight cause us to cross the threshold to a world in which we have no clue. When reality sets in, we panic at the despair we feel in discovering our spouse is not perfect. We need better preparation in marriage, before we say, “I do” and consistently throughout our lifetime. We naively start our married lives often judging others experiencing marriage troubles.  Oblivious to future problems, we are unwilling to ...