Marriage is hard – maybe the most difficult part of our lives we’ll ever have to deal with. Although parenting, at times, may run a close second, we would never think of divorcing our children out of our lives. We love them unconditionally, much like God loves us.
So why don’t we go into marriage with the same attitude? Our spouses should mean more to us than our own children – according to the Bible.
Matthew 19:4-6 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”
NOTHING should come between a husband and wife; man should not separate them. God never mentions that about our relationships with our children. We’re only given them for a season, and then they are expected to move on and become their own person – the person God created, not us. Our spouse should stay with us for life.
Marriage was intended, by God, to be a lifelong monogamous relationship. A man will leave his family, his mother and father, to start his own family with his wife. The two become one flesh. They are no longer two, but one. Again, NOTHING should separate them.
There is a reason why we are encouraged as Christians not to have sex outside of marriage. Sex, first of all, is the physical bond that keeps us united as one; the glue that holds us together. It is a powerful act that reaches our inner being, our soul. We as humans do not fully comprehend how deep that bond runs when we’ve shared the most intimate intimacy with another human being.
When a relationship is broken, that bond is not just divided or dissolved; it is torn apart because of the unfathomable, permanent connection that was once formed. Pieces are left behind. People go from relationship to relationship gathering those pieces of pain and hurt each time they break up, and then carry them into every subsequent relationship.
These days, with people choosing not to marry, the commitment is not there, and so changing partners has become the norm. Even outside of marriage, you form an emotional bond with every partner you have sex with that is difficult to break. No wonder there is so much pain and confusion out there when it comes to relationships.
The idea of “dating” has only been around since the early 1900’s. Our society has lost the plot by believing that one should “date around” and wait until you’re older to get married. Sure, I don’t think teenagers are emotionally ready, but if couples are waiting until they’re over thirty, they usually bring numerous bags of garbage with them from relationships where they were just taking the free milk. (Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?)
Dating around doesn’t make us wiser about relationships. It only leaves us skeptical and distrustful about the opposite sex, while piling up the garbage we’ll have to deal with in the future. If we learn so much from it, why is their such a high divorce rate in our society?
Jumping from relationship to relationship or marriage to marriage is not the answer. Waiting for the right person to marry and seeing that relationship through – no matter what storms you face - is the only way that God can bless your marriage.
More to come!