The “P” in GPS stands for “Praise" while you remain "Positive." Only speak praises to your spouse. Aaahh, I can sense the snarls as some of you read this. “But you don’t know MY husband or MY wife!” No, I don’t, but I do know that none of us is perfect and NO one is easy to live with.
Joining man and woman in holy matrimony shows God’s sense of humor (in my opinion). I always thought it would be easier for the women to live in one house and the men to live right next door. Couples could share plentiful conjugal visits while avoiding the dangers of living together under the same roof. However, God didn’t ask for MY opinion now, did He? He also didn’t promise us it would be easy. He joined man and woman because He knew, together, they would need His help.
God has a plan and knows what is best for us. He saw that man and woman would complement each other and form a perfect union ordained by Him. That’s what we need to focus on. We need to continually look at the good in our partner and what they complete in us, and not dwell on the negative. Divorce begins in the mind with a negative thought.
Think about the power our thoughts have over us. Thoughts can imprison someone so deeply in fear that they refuse to leave their house. Thoughts can bring actual physical symptoms to a person convinced they have a terrible disease. Unresolved thoughts from abuse as a child negatively affect adult relationships. “Watch your thoughts they become words. Watch your words they become actions. Watch your actions they become habits. Watch your habits they become your character. Watch your character it becomes your destiny.” (Author unknown)
The devil wreaks havoc in our minds, his most popular playground. He attacks us constantly. Most of our negative thoughts initiate with him. He’s fooled us into thinking we’re at the mercy of whatever dysfunction we’ve experienced in the past. The old devil loves for us to believe we lack any control over our thoughts. A manipulative lie, we possess the power to command them.
The Bible tells us, “Take captive every thought.” (2 Cor. 10:5) That means to stop those negative thoughts before they ferment and form unintended words that recklessly escape your mouth. Find something positive to focus on. Pick up your Bible, sing praise music. The old devil really hates to hear scripture or worship to God! Or, you could think about what attracted you to your spouse in the first place. Dwell on that.
Praising your spouse is almost impossible when negative thoughts bombard your mind. It is crucial that you learn to control your thoughts and even more, the words that come out of your mouth. Make a sincere effort to speak only loving, edifying words to your spouse. Before you speak, ask God to give you the right words to use without bringing offense to the receiver. If Jesus stood in the room with you, would you feel embarrassed for Him to hear what you say to your spouse and family? (Guess what, He IS there...)
The words from our mouth can change any bad relationship into a good one OR vice versa. My husband’s rule of thumb when discussion is getting "heated": if it’s worth saying, it’ll be just as good tomorrow. Experience has proven that 95% of the time that day wait avoids selfish, flesh-based comments and the senseless arguments that follow. So, speak edifying words to your spouse and watch your Stinkin’ Thinkin’!
*More later on controlling the tongue.
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