Communication: Edification

I talked earlier about the “P” in GPS standing for praise and positive, one of the most important aspects of communication. We should only speak positive words to our spouses, words that edify or lift them up. This often takes a lot of SELF-control to achieve, especially in the marriage relationship.

You need to stop the flow of malicious words that can destroy a marriage. Those words come from the negative thoughts in your head. You CAN break that vicious cycle of cruel and harsh words too often shared between couples, once you change your thinking.

Roman 14:19 says, “Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.” Edification is the building up of individuals.

Along with edifying our spouse, we should also bless them. To bless our spouse means to speak well of them and to respond with good words - even when the other persons’ speech may be harsh, critical, or insulting. Other ways to bless your spouse are by doing nice things for them, showing your appreciation and gratitude, and praying for them. We are called to bless our spouse regardless of how they treat us.

Jesus never uttered disparaging words to anyone, even those involved in beating him and crucifying him on the cross. He asked God to “forgive them for they know not what they do.” He blessed everyone He met. Jesus should be our role model for our behavior towards others. The more we strive to treat our spouse as God intended, the more He is able to bless our marriage.

Ephesians 4:29 “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

It is SO IMPORTANT to THINK about what you are going to say BEFORE you say it!! Ask yourself if the words you intend to use will tear down the other person or build them up and edify them. Will those words stir up anger or bring peace? Would you say them if Jesus was in the room with you? Would you change them if your pastor was at your front door?

More about edifying next time…


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