One More Thing About Self...

Now that I have my blog running smoothly, I can finally get back to writing. I plan to post articles on Mondays and Fridays, so please stay tuned!


Before I get into the heart of communication, I feel it necessary to backtrack a moment on the topic of self. I intended to address an issue still on my mind at a later date. Then, my mother-in-law confirmed my thoughts when she read my last blog and said, “But what about…?”

But what about the woman who feels like a doormat, a slave; the woman who gives, gives, gives and only feels taken for granted? This is not putting your spouses' needs ahead of your own, but compromising your self worth. There is a very fine line between the two.

Psalm 139:13, 14 says, " For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful." Read all of Psalm 139 to see how amazingly well God knows us.

We are children of God. He loves us and only wants the best for us. We are worthy of His love. We have to remember who we are in God and not allow human experience to chip away at our self-esteem. If you feel used in your relationship, you may be the one that needs to make some changes. Don't allow yourself to be used.

Low self-esteem often causes people to position themselves in situations where they are taken advantage of. We can't fill that lack of self-esteem through our spouses, our children, drugs, alcohol, food, or shopping; only God can heal us and assure us of our worthiness in Him. Self-worth is an important part of our character that needs to be healthy in order for us to fully love others.

You can fulfill the needs of your spouse and act selfless without compromising your self worth. When you feel used and taken for granted, the line may need to be drawn. You want to remain a Godly example to an unsaved spouse, but you don't need to be a doormat to him. Ask God to show you where the line is, to show you how to make the necessary changes for you to break an unhealthy cycle you and your spouse have created.

Psalm 73:23-26 says, "Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into your glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

We need to remind ourselves how short our time on Earth is. We need to focus on God and eternity. Our earthly lives are filled with struggles and trials that will continue until we die. Learn from those experiences and realize there will be more struggles and trials down the road. God allows them to strengthen us, to prepare us for whatever incredible plan he intends for our lives.

Find out your purpose for being placed on this earth and concentrate on fulfilling it by learning all you can from your experiences with prayer and God's word. That should be our goal regardless of the circumstances surrounding us. If we focus on His will for us, God will clear the roadblocks that Satan throws in our path.

When our minds are set on God and not our selves or our circumstances, we aren't so affected by those experiences that want to dictate our thoughts and feelings of self-worth. Focusing on God renews our minds and strengthens our self-worth, which in turn gives us the desire to put our spouses needs ahead of our own.



(While this article refers to women, sometimes the tables may be turned. Many men may feel walked-over by their wives, and should apply these same principals to their situation.)

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