I have continuously talked about the importance of watching your thoughts and your words. It occurred to me that I’ve neglected to point out the one specific word we should never allow into our consciousness - the “D” word - divorce.
I believe that most people think about the option of divorce at one time or another in their marriage. That is the point that you must immediately take it captive. Don’t allow it in your thinking or ever enter into your conversation (when it pertains to your marriage). All divorce begins as a thought in someone's head.
Once you take the step of allowing that thought to enter your mind, you risk the danger of it fermenting, like a cancer, to rear it’s ugly head when you face a difficult time in your marriage. At that point, it lulls you into believing it to be the only answer for you, a way out of an unbearable situation. It is nothing less than a lie of the enemy trying to destroy your marriage and the lives of your family.
What do our worldly friends say to us when we’re unhappy in our marriage? “If you don’t love him, then why are you staying with him? Why don’t you just divorce him?” I heard that statement frequently from “concerned” friends when my husband and I faced our marriage crisis. If you aren’t prepared to crucify those thoughts and words, you will start to believe what the world tells you about divorce.
Divorce now seems to be a “right of passage” in our society, almost the “cool” thing to do. How in the world did it ever come to this? (Uh-oh, I’m about to get on my soapbox here.) There have been numerous times when I’ve been asked how long I’ve been married, my response has brought a look of unbelief. Unbelief that I would stay with the same person for over 20 years.
The world will lead us on the path of divorce if we allow it. Don’t ever forget that. When you’re having problems in your marriage, choose very carefully who you share your struggles with. Stick with a mature Christian who preferably has been there. (Or, give me a call!)
Make a conscious decision that divorce will NEVER be an option for you. Stick with it, no matter what. Realize that the trials we face, especially in our marriages, are to purify us and draw us closer to God. He WILL bless you for persevering and He WILL bless your marriage! God allows those struggles so our marriages will become stronger and so we will be better equipped to fulfill His will for our lives.
Romans 5:3-5 says, “We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us.”
If you determine that divorce is not an option, you will find a greater commitment to your spouse that makes it easier to get through those difficult times. Thinking about other options (divorce) only magnifies whatever issues you face and can delay the healing process. Those thoughts lead to divorce which can be more devastating to you and your children than losing your spouse to death.