Yes, adultery is a heinous crime against the person you promised to love and honor. Most people don’t intentionally seek to engage in an adulterous affair, it just happens. (There are exceptions to this rule, too, of course.)
Adultery is usually a symptom of a problem in a relationship. Because men are physically based, they receive their sense of intimacy from sex. Women are emotionally based and receive their sense of intimacy through emotions.
While sex is an obvious method for us to recognize, emotional intimacy comes in different shapes and sizes. Men in particular, need to learn what methods work best for their wives (spending time with them, talking to them, taking care of the children, etc.) to achieve emotional intimacy. Healthy emotional intimacy for women is foreplay to them.
Men need physical intimacy (sex) to feel emotional intimacy, and women need emotional intimacy to feel like having sex. We need to recognize these differences and make sure to satisfy our spouses levels of intimacy, first, in order to have our needs met.
When a person’s intimacy levels in their marriage are not satisfied, they become vulnerable to seeking intimacy elsewhere. Maybe a man in the office compliments a wife on how good she looks, or a secretary supplies a husband with the respect he desires. These can easily become the bait that leads to an affair.
If a married couple spends no time together, barely speaks to one another, shares no intimate moments, or rarely has sex together, it’s just a matter of time before one of them gets caught up in an extramarital affair.
The devastation to a marriage an affair brings, usually begins way before one of the spouses cheats.
Tiger Woods appears to be the exception to this rule of innocently falling into an affair. (I don’t know the whole story, obviously, I’m just guessing from the evidence we know.) He may have a sexual addiction problem considering the number of women he slept with. People with any addiction, (alcohol, drugs, shopping…) seem to have no control in these areas and usually need outside help.
While God can help us overcome these addictions, we have to, first, reach out to Him and ask for His help. Professional counseling is often necessary for many addiction issues.
Should Tiger Wood’s wife forgive him and give him a second chance? Should we forgive our cheating spouses and give them another chance? Should we be forgiven?
Stay tuned as I discuss what the Bible says about infidelity and how we should handle an affair in our marriage.