Friday, December 4, 2009

Your Words

Not taking your thoughts captive leads to the risk of not controlling your tongue. We all know how dangerous that can be. One careless word, not thought about first, can turn a conversation into a heated argument that can build a chasm between a couple. If not handled correctly, you can build enough chasms in your relationship to take you on the path that leads to divorce.

Every problem we face in life, every issue we struggle with in marriage, first becomes a problem or an issue because of the thoughts we think and the words we speak.

For instance, finances are the number one problem couples face these days. Do the actual finances cause the problems or the way they are discussed? We all come into marriage with preconceived ideas of how to spend money. Those ideas often conflict with the ideas our spouse brings. That is why it is important to discuss finances rationally, with positive words.

When we dwell on the negative, our words become negative and our lives become negative. Have you ever been around someone who speaks negatively about everything, whining and complaining about all the injustice they face? They bring you down. Sharing life with a negative spouse can destroy a relationship.

If you find you tend to think negatively, now is a good time to practice taking those thoughts captive. Negative thoughts only lead to negative words.

The best way I find to take a thought captive is to change my focus. Make a conscious effort to break those thoughts and think about something positive. Sometimes I will go into prayer or read the Bible. Praise music works wonders in chasing away unwanted thoughts, especially those brought on by the devil himself. He hates to hear you praise God.

It is crucial to take charge of the thoughts in your mind so you can control the words you speak, especially if you struggle in speaking without thinking. I have written about controlling the tongue a few times in previous blogs. The Bible speaks repeatedly about the devastation of not watching what you say.
(Check out the postings in April to read more about controlling the tongue.)

If you want to have a joyful marriage, if you want to learn to communicate in a healthy way with your spouse, learn to control your thoughts and your tongue. I know I have quoted the following saying numerous times before, but it speaks volumes as to the importance of these virtues.

“Watch your thoughts they become words, watch your words they become actions, watch your actions they become habits, watch your habits they become character, watch your character, it becomes your destiny” (Author unknown). When you struggle with taking your thoughts and words captive, remind yourself of these powerful words.

No comments: