Happy New Year! Can you believe we’ve finished the first decade already in the 21st century? Where does the time go?
I’m still talking about adultery. Unfortunately, it’s a very real threat in our society. Approximately one in every 2.7 couples will deal with adultery in their marriage. These numbers are not completely accurate as many people resist being honest about their infidelity.
The Internet has caused major problems with adultery, making it so much easier to meet a willing partner, and the accessibility of pornography at one’s fingertips has led to another level of infidelity. According to Jesus, lust in your mind is no different than having a physical affair. (Matthew 5:28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.) How many married people commit adultery in their minds through viewing pornography? Society will quickly tell us it’s not the same. What do you think?
Back to Tiger. I wouldn’t want to be his wife right now. She must feel such pain and conflict as how to react. Tiger is the father of her children, the man she married. Can she forgive him for his indiscretions? Should she forgive him? Many people wouldn’t.
Rick and I discussed this situation a few days ago. I said I wasn’t sure I could forgive as easily when there were so many women involved. He didn’t think the numbers should make a difference. What made the difference would be Tiger’s willingness to change his ways. Will he repent and never go back to this behavior? That’s a risk his wife will have to weigh. Is it worth forgiving? I think so. Will it be easy to do? No.
I often think back to the divorce of my parents. My father left my mother for the other woman. About six months after he left, he had a nervous breakdown and a change of heart. He wanted to work things out with my mother. She was unable to forgive him. How different their lives would have been had they stayed together (AND my life).
My father suffered one illness after the other, as did his second wife. They struggled financially and did not live an easy life. He died at the age of 61. My mother worked hard all her life to keep the home where we grew up. I’m sure my parent’s lives would have been much easier had they stayed together. My father might still be alive.
Then there’s my marriage. (Don’t mean to sound boastful, but I learned from my parent’s mistake.) I did not want to end up like my father, dying before his time, and I determined to make my marriage work even though I didn't feel like it. God has blessed Rick and me immensely for our obedience and Rick’s willingness to forgive me.
I truly believe God rewards you for sticking it out through “better or for worse.” Yes, you can go through a divorce and find happiness in a second marriage. It doesn’t come without a price though, especially if there are children involved. Now is the easiest time to fix any marriage problems instead of moving on to another relationship and having those problems multiplied.
Make your New Year's resolution the commitment to stick with your marriage no matter what.