Preparing for the Worst

As a fighter pilot, my husband flew countless sorties (a mission designed for preparation of war) to ingrain his reactions to a real war so there would be no surprises. Police officers train for situations that would render an ordinary citizen helpless. Like them, we need to strengthen our marriages and prepare for circumstances that could destroy an unsuspecting couple.

We enter into matrimony oblivious to the truth of marriage. The pheromones that cloud our thinking, the romantic music of our emotions that hinder our listening, and the look of love that blinds our sight cause us to cross the threshold to a world in which we have no clue. When reality sets in, we panic at the despair we feel in discovering our spouse is not perfect. We need better preparation in marriage, before we say, “I do” and consistently throughout our lifetime.

We naively start our married lives often judging others experiencing marriage troubles.  Oblivious to future problems, we are unwilling to look at how they happen.  “Well, I would NEVER do that!”, is a dangerous phrase destined to be tried and tested by the devil himself.  I started out my marriage, in all sincerity, believing I could NEVER cheat on my husband, even voiced it to friends. But, I did, I cheated. How does that happen?

Our marriage was in grave trouble. Rick and I were not prepared. We did not know how to be married. We did not know how to communicate. We did not have God in our marriage. After the death of my father, I turned to someone else to fill the empty void in my life.  In order to have an affair-proof marriage, you need to be prepared.

Every word I have written in this blog has been to help you become prepared. Here are just a few of the most important issues I believe are crucial to practice in order to get us through those moments we doubt we can ever survive, much less forgive.

-Learn to communicate in a healthy way, edify your spouse.
-Put your spouse’s needs ahead of your own, ahead of your “self”.
-Spend quality time with your spouse.
-Put God in the center of your marriage.
-Pray together every day with your spouse.

If you don’t have a believing spouse to pray with or share God with, do it on your own. Actions speak much louder than words, and your actions may be all your spouse needs to draw closer to God.

Marriage is not easy. I feel that I’ve gathered all of the answers for marriage through my years of ministry, yet I have days I still stumble. We are only human and we continually battle a spiritual war initiated by the devil himself.

Be prepared to fight that war. Come armed with all the information you can find to help make your marriage successful. Come armed with the spiritual weapons God gave us to fight the enemy who is out there to destroy marriage and family.

Most of all, commit to make it work and prepare yourself for the struggles to come.

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