Okay, back to the marriage stuff. I got off track a bit discussing God’s plan for you. I firmly believe, though, if you hold God and His plan above all else, the all else will fall into place beautifully! Warning though, it is necessary to find the balance that won’t jeopardize your family time. It is essential to fulfill God’s plan for you, but you can not leave your family in the dust to achieve it. Your marriage will fail no matter how Godly your intentions are.
Rick and I counsel with couples on an average of two times a week. I’m always fascinated that people are so unaware of the differences between men and women. Of course they know the outward differences and suspect those inward differences. Most couples think they are alone in their struggles believing other couples don’t face the same challenges.
I almost find myself giggling when a couple begins talking about their issues. Mostly because it’s the same story we heard last week, or the story I lived through. When Rick and I start talking about how men and women communicate, I can see the light bulb go on in many faces. I think the most reassuring factor for couples is when they realize that other couples experience what they face. They are not alone.
We hear it over and over in our classes, “Wow! It’s so encouraging to see that other couples go through this!”
I know I’ve discussed this issue many times, why we aren’t better prepared for marriage. Besides the fact that over 50% of us come from broken homes (60% in Florida) with no role model for marriage, I believe many couples just can’t hear the truth when they are caught in that “la-la land of engagement“. Then, they marry, and the truth knocks them in the face. It may take a few years, but eventually they will have to face their differences…or divorce.
One problem may be that once we marry, we think the rest will be smooth sailing. Even with the alarming divorce rate, most of us still go into marriage expecting to live "happily-ever-after." Who ever said you would have to work at marriage? Guess what, you do. Just as you work at your relationship with God or your friends. Successful relationships don’t just happen. That’s why it is important for us to continue to learn about how to be married. Read all you can, attend seminars, talk to others about it.
As we need to spend time with God every day and read His word, we should also spend time each day getting to know our spouse and learning about the best way to be married.
(If you are reading this blog you are on the right track!)