Monday, May 31, 2010

A Suitable Helper

In the beginning, God created Adam.  God created a paradise for Adam that he would take care of.  In Genesis 2:18, the Lord God says, “It is not good for the man to be alone.  I will make a helper suitable for him."

God formed all the animals of the ground and air and brought them to Adam to name.  No suitable helper for Adam was found among the animals.  God realized that Adam needed a helpmate of his own, and so he made woman.

Helpmate means -  helpful companion: a helpful companion or partner, especially a spouse 

Companion means - somebody to be with: somebody who accompanies or shares time with another

Helpful implies (as in helpmate): willing to apply help or assistance.  That means putting your selfish desires aside to do something for someone else.  That is what a helpmate does, what God intended for spouses to do (male and female).

Genesis 2 goes on to say, in verse 24, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” (the beginning of marriage.) They are not two separate entities but one flesh.

I believe a major problem with couples today is that many people go into marriage as separate entities, unwilling to join as one. Women in this day are taught to be “self” sufficient. There is nothing wrong with that as long as it does not prevent us from joining as one with our husband.  I see it often in our counseling.

With that separateness comes selfishness, the fastest killer of any marriage.  Expecting marriage to be all romance and fantasy, as the movies tell us, is a selfish attitude.  What can I get out of this marriage?  In reality, God made marriage to be selfles, something you give to, a rewarding investment.

Marriage love goes so much deeper than the superficial feelings with which we start our relationships.  Unfortunately, at least 50% of couples never stay together long enough to find that out.

Companionship is a highly treasured part of my marriage to me.  It is wonderful to know Rick will always be there to listen to me when I’m sad or glad, to hold me when I’m lonely or depressed, and to take my hands and pray with me when he can’t find the words to comfort me.  Companionship makes me look forward to time in the car when we can unwind and share our innermost thoughts, or spend a quiet evening in the same room with no words needed to be spoken.

Along with that companionship comes a priceless comfort.  It took us a number of years to get to this point and I would not trade it for anything.  How unfortunate that couples don’t hang in there for the long haul.  Marriage improves with time and supplies a peace and reassurance anointed by God Himself.

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