My last posting introduced "Say Yes to Sex". I hope you got your mind thinking about ways to turn getting ready for sex into a productive experience. For most women, it's not avoiding the act of sex, but simply finding the desire and energy to perform the act of sex. Women have a different sex drive than men and can't just jump into it, especially once they are married and have the responsibilities of children, a house, a husband, etc. Men don't understand this because they think about sex frequently and are ready to perform at a moments notice.
Here's my theory - when men have gone too long without sex, (that time length varies with age), the testosterone builds up and they can't think rationally. They forget everything we've been trying to teach them about romancing us. All they can think of is having the sex. Never mind getting there. It's kind of like when a woman has PMS. Her hormones take over and she doesn't have the same control and clear thinking she usually does.
Below are some ideas from the "Say Yes" article to help you get in the mood.
FIND YOUR SEGUE - from Say Yes to Sex by Jenna McCarthy
Let’s talk irony for a sec. In nearly every conceivable situation (at the office, in school, with our kids, in line at the godforsaken post office) we’re expected to maintain a respectable level of composure. Then, out of the blue our partner gives us the nod and we’re supposed to fling ourselves at his feet and surrender to an all-consuming passion. In reality, for most of us that’s simply not gonna happen - at least not without a bath, bikini wax or stiff drink first.
The key, of course, is figuring out exactly what it will take to shift gears - and then doing it. “I can turn into a sex goddess as long as I have even a half hour to shower, put on makeup and dress appropriately,” says Patricia, 46, a writer in Los Angeles with an 11-year-old son. “For me, it’s about literally shedding my mom persona. You can’t feel sexy if you look like a soccer mom.”
Some conversation, a relaxing meal or a few minutes to sit quietly or walk the dog around the block might be all it takes to erase the stresses of the day. “Exercise is a great prelude to sex because it gets the blood pumping everywhere, including the genitals.” Cadell says. “The effects are intensified if you think about sex while you’re doing it.” The added sexy bonus of those regular sweat sessions - let’s say, a tighter tush or flatter abs - might even inspire you to leave the lights on one night.
While a great workout can double as foreplay, Berman insists that the particular exercise you choose is important. “Running may make you feel less stressed because of the release of endorphins, but many women use that time to go over their to do lists, which can be counterproductive when you’re trying to feel sexy,” she explains. If that sounds like you, “instead, try something, like yoga or pilates that requires you to focus, establishes a mind-body connection and lets you actually quiet your mind.”
Even more to follow!