More on the Commitment Stage

There are two options for married couples: fight through the storms of marriage and stay together or give up and divorce.  In our society, 50% of marriages end in divorce (60% in Florida).  Half of the couples quit during the storm or in the midst of the fire.  They can’t take the heat.
While going through the storms of marriage is very difficult (I certainly felt like quitting), it’s worth it all to persevere and work out the problems.  This is the best time to “figure it out”.  If you don’t, you’ll carry the same garbage on to any future relationships, only magnifying the heat of the storms to come.  You may think another woman’s husband looks more attentive, more helpful, more loving, but I promise you, there would be another set of issues you’d have to deal with if you were married to him.  You will experience storms in every marriage.

Men and women are so very different from each other.  It wasn’t meant to be easy for us to live together.  I personally believe that is why God put men and women together.  He knew we would need His help. 

The greatest sacrifice in marriage is giving up your “self,” and learning how to compromise and how to put your spouse’s needs ahead of your own.  In order to do this, you need to know your spouse and figure out what makes them tick.  That’s what “going through the fire” or the “storm” is all about.  It’s the joining of two as one.  There is no “I” in team.  The same goes for our relationship with God.

The second part of stage two (the Commitment Stage as I called it) is the time where we’ve been through the storms and figured out how to make it work.  We’ve been given the tools to deal with troubles through our perseverance. We find peace and comfort in our relationship.  We are better equipped to deal with future issues.  Harsh words and feelings seldom rear their ugly heads.  We find security in the status quo.

Our relationship with God is the same.  We come to a level of comfort where we “know that we know that we know”.  We’ve learned how to deal with issues and overcome them easier with the help of God.  We lean on Him and strive to give up our “self” to live life according to His will.

In both our marriage and spiritual relationship with God, we find contentment.  We no longer need the emotional highs to stoke the fire. We understand commitment. We find happiness in our routine to maintain both our relationship with God and with our spouse.  Most people spend their lives in this stage.


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