I found myself riding the emotional roller coaster for a couple days last week. For the life of me, I couldn’t tell you one event that put me there. The little fluctuations in life seem to drive it (along with these hormones that we have Eve to thank for).
I’m amazed how I can be sailing along with no cares, feeling on top of the world, and one little comment from someone can throw me for a loop. My mood can change from a joyful calm to an anxious melancholy at the snap of a finger. Mind you, I’ve come a long way from my days of being an emotional junkie, but once in a while, they still give me a test of my faith. Even worse, I tend to forget about the spiritual battle engaging around me at these times, trying to destroy my ministry and my marriage. Satan’s done a good job in making me think it’s my entire fault when I’m in the midst of these rides.
My husband, on the other hand, is the most even-keeled, optimistic person I’ve ever met. He helps me stay balanced. I rarely see him thrown off kilter - except on this past Good Friday.
Thursday evening we were both tired and not so patient. I got upset because Rick hadn’t listened to me (a major liability for the male species.) On top of that, when I questioned him on it, he told me it was a waste of time to think negatively, and he wouldn’t allow his mind to go there. (I actually just walked away knowing I was not in the proper state of mind to debate this.)
That, I believe, is the greatest difference between men and women. Women think about EVERYTHING and analyze it all – negative or positive. Men prefer to put it in a box, close the box and never look at it unless it threatens their well-being. Women were made to worry and wonder, “What If?” (As I always mention, there are exceptions; once in a while the roles may be reversed - not in my marriage, though.)
I was a bit miffed but made a note to myself to cut-back on sharing my crazy thoughts. Rick didn’t sleep well that night and neither did I. Needless to say, we were both a bit edgy the next morning as we prepared to take off in the RV. Little things kept setting the both of us off, and I found myself not looking forward to our trip as I usually do when we’re preparing to go somewhere. I love our time in the RV! But not on this day. I didn’t want to go anywhere with this man. Even knowing I would see my daughter on Saturday didn't seem to help.
I decided I should say something. I thought about it and tried to determine the best thing to say. I wanted to yell and get out some frustration, but since I’m in the business of teaching people how to communicate properly, I thought I should carefully choose my words, you know, like I tell other people to do.
I said to Rick, “Do you really want to go away this weekend?” Not what I had in mind to say, but it came out peacefully with a loving tone. Often times, the tone speaks louder than the actual words. “No,” he said, “But that’s only because I’m frustrated at the moment. I think the devil is really attacking the both of us. I’m feeling so anxious and angry and have all night. That’s why I didn’t sleep. Would you pray for me?”
Pray for him? Really? My first reaction was that he should be praying for me! But he always does. He’s the spiritual leader! He has calmed my spirit many times by taking me in his arms and praying for me. I realized that he didn’t always have to be the strong warrior, my caretaker. I could offer him the same safe haven even when I was feeling out-of-sorts. How could I be so selfish when Rick so humbly sought my help?
We embraced each other and I began to pray. Immediately the peace of God that surpasses all understanding engulfed our beings. All the anxiety and frustration and anger melted away. Peace and joy quickly consumed us. We looked at each other and hugged and kissed, then continued our chores to prepare the RV for flight - this time with our usual anticipation and excitement.
The rest of the day was filled with pure delight and harmony! We spent the evening going to dinner and sitting outside on a beautiful night. We talked and carried on like newlyweds. When we walked back to the car, I felt such elation and contentment. I wondered how the day would have ended if we hadn’t prayed for God’s help that morning.
The whole weekend turned out to be quite magical for Rick and me in spite of my sadness at not spending Easter with family. That would normally put me in quite a funk. But not this Resurrection Sunday! God showed up and blessed our time together. We dined with some very special friends, and I never felt the gloom of being away from my family. God never ceases to amaze me with this overabundance of grace and mercy just when you need it. Sometimes you’ve got to remember to ask, though. There is so much power in prayer!