We all know
how appreciation feels, yet many of us rarely receive it and even more neglect
to give it.
Why is it so
difficult for humans to express appreciation?
Some people shower it effortlessly on others, while many don’t know how
to express it at all. It doesn’t take
much to satisfy our human desire to be appreciated. A simple word of thanks can speak volumes to
someone searching for approval.
Cousins once said, “Appreciation can make
a day, even change a life. Your
willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary.”
If you weren’t
taught to show appreciation and rarely delight in building up others, I suggest
you learn how to – especially if you are married. We particularly need to express it with our
As many of you
women know, most men need more vocal appreciation than women. They usually require a “pat-on-the-back”
after each chore and every good deed done in taking care of the children. That’s okay.
It’s partly how we show our respect for them - the greatest need for
every man. So be sure to compliment your
husband on his achievements and thank him whenever he lends a hand to you even
though you don’t always feel like it.
Even though you may get upset that he rarely acknowledges all you do. (He doesn’t usually see it.)
I know you
ladies are probably rolling your eyes about now. Why should you constantly reward men for
their simple and infrequent tasks when you slave around the house and do most
of the work for the kids without a sliver of gratitude from your husband? Because if you don’t, you are robbing him of
the appreciation he deserves. Yes, you
may not get the appreciation you deserve, but you can begin to change the cycle
of ingratitude that has developed in your family.
frequently thank him for working every day and providing for you and your
family? (As always, there are exceptions – not everyone fits in this mold – but
most do.) Do you show him respect as God
tells you to in the Bible? Respect is a
huge part of appreciation for men. We
show respect in our words and by our actions.
4:29, 31 - “Let no corrupting talk come
out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the
occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear….Let all bitterness and
wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all
Thessalonians 5:11 – “Therefore encourage
one another and build each other up.”
I read an
article recently that said younger married men (in their 20’s) were helping
around the house and when asked if they enjoyed doing chores, most of them said
they did – a great change from a generation ago when men rarely helped because
they didn’t want to. This article went
on to say that the wives are not “putting up” anymore with the lack of help
from their husband.
I wasn’t sure
what to think about that article. Yes,
it’s a great thing for men and women to share the chores of a home, especially
when they both work. What is happening
to our society, though, if women are becoming so domineering that men are
losing sight of their God-given roles? (And
I’m not just talking about this one article.)
It’s hard to feel appreciated when you are forced to do something.
Here is the
beauty of appreciation. Appreciation
breeds appreciation. If you choose to
only speak words of encouragement and gratitude, they will become contagious,
and you will find your family following your lead. Your home will be flowing with an atmosphere
of love and peace in no time. Your
husband will soon catch on and begin to share his appreciation for you. The whole family will pitch in and help more when they feel appreciated for their efforts.
Note to men:
Showing your appreciation -- often -- for all your wife does is a HUGE act of
romance to a woman and will certainly guarantee you a more active sex life!
Note to women:
When your husband is fulfilled sexually (you have sex with him when he wants
and you sometimes initiate it), he will be more than willing to show his
appreciation for you.
Cousins said, your willingness to put it into words is all that is
necessary. Start showing your
appreciation and start enjoying the positive changes in your relationships.