The State of Marriage

I’m a little late getting this out today.  I actually slept in this morning - a sorely needed sleep. (Pun intended – my body is also crying out in pain.)  Rick and I spent the weekend in Panama City painting, cleaning and fixing our house that was destroyed by renters.  A couple of hired hands were supposed to help us, but they never showed up.  I’m somewhat disturbed with the human race after this weekend, as you may see reflected a bit in this article.


My soul weeps when I look at the state of marriage in our society.  The devil has been very triumphant in destroying the values in our society by silently chipping away at the foundation of our success – the family.

Divorce in a family devastates confidence, esteem, trust, and love – just a few of the consequences of the breakdown of the family.  This lower sense of worth leads children of divorce to drugs, alcohol, abuse, pregnancy and crime, to name a few.  My heart aches when I hear, over and over, of the difficult childhoods people have experienced that lead them to their troubled adult years and relationships.   Most of this is irreparable apart from the grace of God.  We desperately need God in these times of chaos. 

Lately, I’ve been shocked by the attitude towards marriage in, not just the younger generation, but also the baby boomers.  We baby boomers, in my opinion, are the ones that started the popularity of divorce.  It now seems to be a rite of passage, the fashionable thing to do. 

Living together outside of marriage has become the norm.  It seems that at least half of the couples I meet live together.  I understand their apprehension towards getting married, but the chances of surviving a relationship without a marriage license are even less than with one.

Relationships no longer have the long-term appeal they once did.  People jump in and out of them as often as we buy a new dress.  The duration of love is also about the same.

For example: you see a dress that you have to have.  It’s perfect!  It makes you look and feel like a million dollars!  You’ll do anything to get it.  You love it and take special care of it, cherishing your moments together.  Time passes and the color begins to fade.  It isn’t as appealing to you as it once was.  The material stretches a bit and doesn’t make you feel as good when you put it on.  You don’t wear it as often.  It hangs in your closet for weeks without getting any attention from you.  The day comes when you decide you no longer need “that old thing”.  You give it away for someone else to love without a second thought as to how you once felt about it.

Is that what marriage has boiled down to in our “throw away” society?  We no longer fix things; we get rid of it and buy a new one.  That seems to be the current attitude for marriage.  Better yet, why even bother to marry?  People change partners now like college students go through room-mates.  Couples move in together with the same casual idea of commitment.

I’m always amazed at the looks I get when I tell people I’ve been married for thirty-one years.  Mostly shock, but also a bit of awe that I could make it that long.  I’ve even felt a sense of pity from some who can’t understand staying with the same person for so long.

What has happened to responsibility and commitment in our society?

Obviously more to come.


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