Where Has All the Commitment Gone?


Commitment:  The state of being bound emotionally or intellectually to a course of action or to another person or persons: a deep commitment to liberal policies; a profound commitment to the family.

Commitment seems to be a dying value.  I don’t know about you, but inevitably, when I have to take care of the business of living, one roadblock after another causes me great frustration due to the lack of commitment in someone supposedly doing their job.

For example:  We own a condo in Orlando and the rental management company recently stopped their work in Orlando.  It took me a month just to talk to a person (after no one answered emails and voicemails) to find out how we would make the transfer and to confirm that we would be getting all the money owed us.  (We didn’t see that for another month.)  It took a few more weeks after that (again, with multiple emails and voicemails) just to get the name of the renter and another week to get his phone number.  There was a day where this information would have easily been handled in one phone call.

One time recently, (one time in years and hundreds of calls) I called a company about a bill and a human, English speaking voice answered immediately.  Surprised at her pleasant tone I said to her, “I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to talk to a real person!”  We both laughed.

It seems that every time I attempt to call a company or try to right a wrong that’s been done, this is my experience which has now become the norm.  It takes mounds of paperwork and emails and phone calls to get one minor task accomplished anymore.

What has happened to our society?  There seems to be little pride in the job anymore, and few people are committed to doing the best at their work that they possibly can.

This attitude has carried on into marriage.  Where has all the commitment gone?

In counseling couples, Rick and I always stress the importance of staying committed to the marriage.  We often get looks like we must be crazy.  People don’t want to work at anything.  As usual, there are a few exceptions, and those people give me great encouragement for the human race. 

I believe this loss of commitment began with the “me” generation of the 60’s.  Women’s lib only enhanced this disease which has spread like a plague in our world.  We only want what we want.  The person we’ve chosen to, perhaps, spend the rest of our lives with, is certainly disposable if they don’t accommodate what we want.

I wonder how many couples actually discuss commitment before they marry.  Unfortunately, at least 50% of the first time marrying couples comes from broken homes.  They have had no role model of commitment in marriage.  In fact, the percentage may be higher because more couples have chosen to live together due to their fear of commitment.  Couples that live together have an even greater chance of splitting because they’ve never “officially” committed.

Proverbs 16:3 says, “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.”

When we commit our lives, our jobs, our marriages over to God, we cannot fail.  That same commitment to a spouse will truly make a marriage successful.



More to come about commitment to marriage!

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