“Fear is a vital response to physical and emotional danger—if we didn't feel it, we couldn't protect ourselves from legitimate threats. But often we fear situations that are far from life-or-death, and thus hang back for no good reason. Traumas or bad experiences can trigger a fear response within us that is hard to quell. Yet exposing ourselves to our personal demons is the best way to move past them.” Psychology Today
Fear, logical or irrational, is a real emotion that women seem to struggle with at higher levels than most men. Yes, we have crazy hormones that make us vulnerable at times, but it could also be that we express ourselves more openly. Our thoughts run continuously and we need to get them out! Men, on the other hand, have always been told to “be strong” and not show signs of weakness. Besides, they can compartmentalize any negative thoughts into one of their little boxes in their brains and never think about it. Most women don’t know how to ‘not think’.
Regardless of who fears more, we all face it in one degree or another. Some fear incessantly, crippling their lives by this emotion. Many people refuse to move out of their comfort zone or their routine for fear of the unknown or fear of change. Most people don’t like change, but we have to realize that change is inevitable. Mothers in particular, fear for their children. Some obsess so greatly over it that they create anxious children. Fear can cause unnecessary stress in a family and in a marriage relationship.
The Bible tells us to NOT fear. We serve a God who promises to take care of us and protect us. He doesn’t promise us a wonderful, perfect life here on this planet. We will have to face troubles and storms. He does promise us that He will be there to help us through – to comfort us – to give us peace. We have to have faith to believe that. Fear is the opposite of faith, though. Fear is putting your faith in the devil.
Easier said than done, right? There may be nights you wake up in a panic because of a bad dream that seemed too real. You can’t get it out of your mind. You may be handling a sick child and controlling your fears until you read a devastating article about a family who lost a child from a simple illness. It’s the world that feeds our fear. Movies are made, stories are written and Facebook pages are covered with the ills of our society that make you not want to leave your home. The world is getting madder by the day.
So what do we do? As the quote at the top of the page says, “Yet exposing ourselves to our personal demons is the best way to move past them.” We have to look at our fears in the face and realize that the devil will use those fears to paralyze us, to keep us from the plan God has prepared for us. Fear WILL keep you from the life God intended for you to live.
Maybe you are someone who worries that your spouse will find someone else to love. Where does that fear come from? Did one of your parents have an affair? Did someone cheat on you in the past? Those are the questions you need to look at and realize it wasn’t your spouse who did that to you. Take those irrational thoughts to God. Don’t impose them on your spouse. When Rick and I went through our marriage crisis, I had a counselor tell me that I was, subconsciously testing Rick to see if he would leave me. My father left my mother, so I feared Rick would leave me also. I almost pushed him to it through my fears.
Think about the worst thing in the world that could happen to you. What would you do? What would be the best way to handle it? Would you immediately go to God for His help? I find that the anticipation of any difficult event is ALWAYS much worse than the actual event (except in the loss of a loved one to death).
Rick spent 31 years in the Air Force. He was prepared for bad things that might happen. If his plane was screaming to the ground, he was trained to stay calm and think clearly about the actions he needed to take. The reason that people freeze and do nothing when some poor guy is getting beaten on the streets by a bunch of thugs is because those people never thought about how they should respond. They’ve not been trained how to react.
We need to prepare ourselves to fight off the arrows the devil will throw at us. We need to look at those demons and say, “Be gone!”
What about the lady who thwarted off a robber with a gun, at her store, by looking him in the face and saying, “In the name of Jesus, you leave now”? We need to think through how we will respond to fearful events. I believe the fear comes from not being prepared, not knowing how we might react. God promises to be with us, always. Know that He will be with you even at the worst of times. You have the spiritual power to fight evil.
We prepare for hurricanes in Florida. Prepare yourself for whatever storms you may face. Take your fears to God, every day. Don’t allow them to consume you any longer even if it means staying in constant prayer until you feel God’s peace that surpasses all understanding.
Isaiah 41:10 – “So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”