Fear – anticipation of the possibility that something unpleasant will occur; a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid.
How interesting that these definitions of fear claim - “Anticipation of the possibility” and “Whether the threat is real or imagined.” Most fears are irrational thoughts in our head with no concrete reality in our personal experience.
According to StatisticBrain.com, 60% of things we fear and worry about will never come to pass.
Most women spend a lot of their time in worry and fear. Maybe it’s part of our personality. Maybe it’s part of the hormones that affect our bodies. Maybe it’s the way God made us.
I have struggled a good part of my adult life with fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear for my children. Fear for the direction our country is headed. And the list goes on…and on…and on.
I feel like an inadequate Christian when overcome with worry or fear. After all, fear is putting your faith in the devil, not in the God who made you. Why did I have such difficulties turning it over to God, completely?
I decided that I would figure out where this fear comes from – get to the root of it. Tired of this struggle, I cried out to God to help me overcome this once and for all. Of course, He did. He showed me where it began.
I can go back to the exact day that it started. It was my 16th birthday when my father took me to get my driver’s license. On the way home, after passing the test, he had me pull off the road to tell me that he was leaving my mother. Life was never the same after that.
My father was 6 ft. 6 in. tall and built like John Wayne. I never feared anything when he was around – except his booming voice. After he left, I began to fear noises in the dark and dreamed about people trying to break into the house. My mind began a frenzied journey of fear that continued through my adult life. Fear of terrible things happening to me, my family, my children.
I hid all this well but always struggled with stomach issues from the unnecessary stress I battled. I never realized the source of my fears – until now. I just lived with it and carried it into my marriage. I knew the divorce of my parents caused me anxieties, but I never realized that the absence of my father caused me such fear.
I may have been an overprotective mother because of fear. I may have had undo anxieties thinking I might not be a good enough wife. I may have worried that my husband would leave me for another woman, as my father left my mother.
When Rick and I went through our marriage difficulties, one counselor I saw told me I was subconsciously trying to push my husband away before he left me. After all, my father left my mother, why wouldn’t my husband leave me? I didn’t know what to think of all this. After God healed my marriage, my fears were greatly diminished but still an issue I longed to be free from.
Do you struggle with fear? Does it affect your relationship with your spouse? With your children? It will also affect your physical and mental health. Maybe it’s time to get to the root of your fear and finally turn it all over to God.
And with no surprise, this was the message in my Jesus Calling the day after my ‘fear revelation’
“Whenever you start to feel afraid, remember that I am your Shield. But unlike inanimate armor, I am always alert and active. My Presence watches over you continually, protecting you from both known and unknown dangers. Entrust yourself to My watchcare, which is the best security system available. I am with you and will watch over you wherever you go.”
Psalm 56:3-4 “Whenever I am afraid, I will trust in You. In God (I will praise His word), In God I have put my trust; I will not fear. What can flesh do to me?
God will give you the freedom from fear to make way for the amazing marriage He desires for you!