Disappointment

I have gotten away from my weekly posting, but plan to get back into the routine.  Life has been crazy.  Besides, I’ve had this blog for over six years, so I believe I’ve covered almost everything there is to cover about marriage.  If you have any suggestions for an article, please message me or leave a comment.

I heard a sermon about disappointment, and it made me think about disappointment in marriage.  It can become poison that will destroy a relationship if not handled correctly.  This preacher said “Disappointment is not permanent – don’t make it that way.”

We face disappointment every day.  Maybe your spouse says something that hurts your feelings. Maybe you’re tired of picking up their socks for the 10 millionth time – they’ve ignored your pleas to keep the house tidy.  Maybe they don’t live up to your expectations of what marriage should look like.  Maybe life hasn’t worked out the way you planned, and you feel disappointed with God.

It is easy to dwell on the frustrations of life, especially as the world gets more difficult to live in every passing day.  Just turning on the television and watching the news is enough to drag anyone down.  There is disappointment at every turn. 

“Disappointment is not permanent.  Don’t make it that way.”  You see, we have control over our thoughts which will turn into words and action if not dealt with -- words and actions that may damage your marriage. (Watch your thoughts, they become words.  Watch your words, they become actions.  Watch your actions, they become habits.  Watch your habits, they become your character. Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.)

None of us is perfect even though we go into marriage expecting perfection from our spouse.  You can jump from marriage to marriage but never find that perfect relationship.  You have to take the imperfections into consideration and then let go of them.  Focus on the positive qualities of your spouse.  Rick always says, about our relationship, “We’re two imperfect people determined to make it work.”  That’s the key.  No matter what, don’t give up.

I wish I could tell you that I handle disappointment perfectly every time, but I don’t.  It sometimes takes me a few hours to get out of my pity-party.  It’s not until I start talking to God and ask Him to help me through these petty little distractions that I find peace.   And He will – He will give you the peace and perception you need to move on from disappointment. 

Once I turn my disappointments over to God, he always shows me the good in Rick and just how amazing he is.  If Rick was amazing at everything, though, we wouldn’t need God!  Actually, I wish I had Rick’s attitude.  He completely overlooks my imperfections.  That is what we should do in marriage!  Overlook the imperfection!  Focus on why you married your spouse in the first place.

I get upset with myself for getting upset in the first place.  This human skin is hard to live in when you strive to be perfect and expect perfection.

2 Corinthians 12:9 says, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  To which Paul replies, “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

God never promised us a life without trials, in fact quite the contrary.  He uses the trials to draw us closer to Him and prepare us for the plans He has for us.  In weakness, God’s power is made perfect.  Think about that.  When we are weak is when God gives us power.  Like Paul, I’m happy to be weak if that means Christ’s power will rest on me.