GPS to a Joyful Marriage

The sixth chapter of Ephesians talks about the relationships between children and their parents, and slaves and their masters.  Verse 1 says, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”  Verse 2 says, “Honor your father and mother - which is the first commandment with a promise - that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” It seems simple and clear to me that we should obey our parents as children and honor them as we get older.   However, disobedience and dishonor of parents goes back to Biblical times, and we need to take this call to honor our parents seriously.  God meant it so seriously that we are promised a long life on earth for our obedience and honor to our parents. Verse 4 tells us, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. Before I turned my life around, and my children were small, my son and I had the tendency to “exasper...

Ephesians 5:32 says, “This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church.” The idea of the church as the bridegroom of Christ is not a concept that is easily grasped.  I personally believe that God intended the comparison (Christ and the church - husband and wife) to show us the ultimate importance of the marriage relationship. What could possibly be greater than Christ’s love for us, His followers (the church)?  That is His desire for marriage, that we hold it sacred and love it above all else. The church, here, is not the building, or congregation or fellowship hall.  The church is God’s people.  He loved His people so much that He sent His only son, Jesus, to die for our sins.  What could be more passionate than that? Do you feel that passionate about your marriage?  Would you do anything for its survival, to make it right?  Even more so, the husband is the one called to treat his wife as Christ does the church.  I...

Dear Friends - My apologies, this was scheduled to automatically post this past Monday--but didn't.  I've been out of town the past month and haven't had regular internet usage.   So sorry.  Here's the posting for this week.  Will be back in Florida tomorrow. Ephesians 5:25-27 tell us, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to Himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.” Christ died on the cross for our sins. He died, or gave Himself up for the church. Men are called to give themselves up for their wives. This is a lot more difficult task and a much greater level of devotion than women are called to make. Submissiveness is reciprocal in the marriage relationship. We can’t forget that. When a man only demands submission from his wife and gives nothing in return, he ...

Ephesians 4:29-5:20 basically tell us how to live as Christians. Even more so, these ‘rules’ should apply to our marriages. Somehow, many Christians seem to think their marriage relationship is exempt from the rules in the Bible that refer to dealing with other people. Our spouses and our families are the ones we should hold in the highest esteem and treat them better than anyone else. We often fail to do that. Eph. 4:32 says, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” If we would always strive to treat our spouse this way, there would be no divorce. I don’t think we understand how important forgiveness is. Matthew 6:14-15 says, “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Remember, unforgiveness is like taking poison and hoping it will kill the other person. It will do you more harm than th...

Ephesians 4:26, 27 says, “In your anger do not sin.  Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” “In your anger do not sin.”  That’s a tough one.  Our anger causes us to react in a way that is often contrary to our normal personality.  We often sin without thinking in a state of anger. I find myself spewing words at my husband that sound as though some little demon has taken over my body.  It literally catches me off guard at times, and I am shocked at my reaction.  I hate when that happens.  Those times have become much fewer as I’ve become older and wiser.  (Once I get through this hormonal rollercoaster ride I hope to breeze through life with even less little demon outbursts.) It is impossible to take back words that we have carelessly thrown at someone.  Our anger causes us to not think before we speak.  We only want to defend ourselves when someone offends us.  The battle b...

Ephesians 4:25 “Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body.  I personally believe that many Christians have abused this verse to justify their harsh words.  “But the Bible tells us to speak the truth,” I’ve heard couples in counseling say.  Yes, we don’t want to tell lies to our spouse or our neighbors, but we also don’t want to tell them every thought, good or bad, that arises in our head.  Many times, it is wiser to say nothing than to risk speaking unwholesome talk.  Verse 29 in this same chapter says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”  If your words are not going to ‘build someone up according to their needs’, then don’t say it.  Proverbs 10:19 says, “When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.” The...

Eph. 4:22-24 tells us, “You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” These verses say it all in the key to a successful marriage (next to having God in the center). I have talked and talked about “self” and will probably talk and talk some more about it. Self is the major culprit of problems in marriages and in our relationship with God. If you put an “h” in front of self, (maybe to represent him or her), then spell it backwards, you have “flesh” Flesh and self go hand in hand. One begets the other. The first step in putting off your old self is the desire to do so. We need God’s help to do this. I was amazed at how quickly I threw off my old self when I finally realized that I desperately needed help. I was willing to do whatever I had to do to change my life an...