GPS to a Joyful Marriage

If it wasn’t for attraction and romance and love, men and women would probably never join together as one.   Let’s face it, without love, men and women aren’t the most compatible companions because we are such different creatures.   Yeah, yeah, some try to claim that they can have someone of the opposite sex as their best friend, nothing else, but I have my doubts.   I would bet there is love going on in at least one side of that relationship. (This information is concluded merely from the viewpoint of what I’ve observed in others and in myself before I married – and from many movies I’ve watched.) That initial “head-over-heals in love” is how God designed it to get us aliens together.   The love and romance is only the bait.   Unfortunately though, many marriages try to base their relationships on these feelings that were meant mostly to get our attention.  Those relationships don't last because people want to stay in that la-la land without applying...

Before I get started, I want to take a moment to tell you about my book that will be out in the next few weeks.   It’s actually online already for a download ebook version.  I hope to have that link on my blog in the next few days. If you don’t know, my book is about the story of how I almost divorced my husband – for another man.  God intervened and saved my marriage.  I’m sure there will be lots more to come about it in the future.  Check out my new website - www.sandeelester.com for more information. Thanks for taking the time to read that brief commercial break.  I hope I don’t bore you too much with news of my book – I’m a bit excited about it.  I’ve waited a LONG time for this!  On with my article. In case you haven’t noticed, men are very different creatures than women.  I know I’ve written about this a lot, but I’m continually reminded of this little tidbit.  I truly believe that one of the most important fa...

Vacation time is always an anticipated adventure that I can hardly wait to get out the door and begin.   My favorite vacations are in our motor home, and they are usually spent visiting family that I don’t get to see enough.   I enjoy it so much that returning home is something I don’t always look forward to.   I know it’s a return back to reality. We (especially us women) tend to ride on this rollercoaster ride called life, jumping from highs to lows at the flicker of an eye.   We rarely stand on that even keeled middle ground for very long.   Reality has a way of influencing our emotions, and we have to constantly be on guard. If we’re not careful, our times in the valley (our lows) may send us in a tail spin that turns us away from what’s really important - God and our spouse. Our relationships with God and with our spouses can often feel like a rollercoaster ride.   One day we’re high as a kite on love (with God and/or our spouse), and t...

Happy Independence Day!   Today we celebrate our independence from Great Britain, to begin a new country that would stand as one nation under God.   Our forefathers left Europe so they could have religious freedom. John Adams, one of the signers of the declaration, wrote a letter to his wife telling her about the significance of this day.   In it he wrote: "It ought to be commemorated as the day of deliverance, by solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty. ” I believe it should be a day that we count our blessings.   We have been a great nation, the land of the free, where countless people from other countries have fled to so they could share in that freedom.   This nation was built “under God”, and I believe our current problems are a result of turning away from Him.   Money and material things have become the gods of this country. We are in an economic predicament in this great country that came about by greed.   Along with ...

It amazes me that we, as human beings, communicate as well as we do.   There are numerous factors involved when speaking to another person. We have to coordinate our thoughts with our words to relay the message we want to share.  We don't always find the exact words that communicate our meaning.  Our emotions, our circumstances, and even our physical health will have a great impact on that message.   We may not be thinking clearly and choose the wrong words.   We may be angry or in pain and not give enough thought to what we say. We also have to look at the state of the person receiving the message.   Are they tired, emotional or distracted?   They may hear the words we speak to them in a very different manner in which we intended.   That’s how arguments usually begin – with miscommunication from one party in either sending or receiving. For me, there have been many times where I’m forced to respond without the time to carefully pla...

The relationships between men and women never cease to amaze me.   Most couples interact in the same ways.   We all deal with similar issues.   The degree of problems the issues cause, though, may vary depending on what we learned from our own families. My husband and I spent the past weekend in Miami with our son and daughter-in-law.   Rick and I were in the back of the car and my son was driving.   He and his wife had a conversation about how to get where we were going that Rick and I have had hundreds of times.   I almost giggled out loud.   I’m still compelled to tell Rick how to drive even after 30 years of marriage. Rick often has commented, jokingly, “Honey, I don’t know how I ever survive driving in the car, alone, without you here to guide me.” My response has always been, “I pray for you when I’m not in the car with you.” I know I’ve mentioned this before, but it is well worth repeating.   I think the devil has destr...

In my previous post, I mentioned Paul’s request in chapter 6 of Ephesians for prayer that he would declare the gospel fearlessly.  Paul talks numerous times in his letters about the words we speak.  He believes so highly in the power of the tongue that he asks for prayer that he would use the right words.  There’s an idea we all should practice -  prayer for the right words. In Ephesians 4:29, Paul tells us “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” In our society, we are clearly taught to speak whatever comes to our minds, regardless of how it might affect another person.  We usually don’t think about how the other person might receive our words, as long as we feel better for releasing our thoughts.  Especially when it comes to our spouses and our family, the people we supposedly love the most.  Paul tells u...