GPS to a Joyful Marriage

Luke 2:14 - "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests." I hope that your Christmas was filled with joy at the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ.  May you find the time to glorify our God in the highest as you give thanks for His grace on you this holiday season and throughout the year.  May your New Year be filled with peace and His favor in all you do.

Unable to shake my thoughts on expectation this last week, I’ve taken them to a deeper level for you to ponder.  What are your expectations of God? I looked up the meaning of expectation and here is what I found: Expectation – the act or the state of expecting – to wait in expectation.  The act or state of looking forward or anticipating. An expectant mental attitude. A high pitch of expectation.  A prospect of future good or profit. Notice that expectation is a passive word.  It dwells in our mind.  We are waiting for something and trying to figure out how it will unfold.  It’s synonymous with the word anticipation.  The anticipation of something usually involves more drama, more anxiety, and more excitement than the event itself. If you’re someone like me, you spend way too much time thinking about what’s to come.  The expectations of life and of God can be overwhelming.  I tend to over-analyze everything.  I ...

I’ve been thinking about expectations of a different nature this week – the expectations we have of the holidays.  We all have our own ideas of how the Christmas season should play out, and I believe most of us try to duplicate that scenario as closely as possible. I fondly remember spending Thanksgiving with my mother’s family, Christmas Eve with my father’s, and on Christmas Day, we would stay home, and my grandparents would visit us.  Often, we would also have Christmas parties with my mother’s family.  New Year’s Eve involved a huge party with my dad’s family and friends where children were included – always the highlight of my year. After my parents divorced when I was sixteen, it all ended.  I’ve finally realized, in the past few years, that I spent most of my adult years trying to recapture those memories of my childhood. I loved Christmas when my children lived at home but still struggled, as an Air Force family, with living away from the rest...

I believe that one reason we find ourselves in silly arguments that easily escalate into full blown fights, is that we don’t voice our expectations with our spouse.   I find that, occasionally, I will come to a conclusion about a situation, in my mind, and neglect to tell my husband, or even other people, what I’ve decided.  I move on assuming everyone knows where I’m coming from.  Of course, my husband should be able to second guess my actions; we’ve been married for thirty years!  (Ha ha!  That couldn’t be further from the truth!)  Needless to say, things don’t get completed very efficiently when no one knows what you expect, and a situation like this easily turns into a fertile breeding ground for arguments. Recently, we were in a social situation and nearing the time to leave.  I am such a people person that at a party, I want to talk to everyone.  It seems that Rick thought we were leaving and got upset with me when I wasn’t right b...

When I first turned my life over to God, one of my favorite praise songs I learned was “I Cast All My Cares.” “I cast all my cares upon You.  I lay all of my burdens down at Your feet.  And anytime I don’t know what to do, I will cast all my cares upon You.” Such a simple song with a powerful message.  To this day I still sing that song to myself when I don’t know what to do.  It soothes my soul.  You might walk by a window to my house at one of those moments and see the tears rolling down my face as I’m singing out to God with my arms outstretched wide.  The problems may not be solved or dissolved, but God gives me peace that surpasses all understanding.  I can then move on and not feel so crippled by fear or pain. If you struggle with turning things over to God, maybe you should find a song or a Bible verse that soothes your soul - something that reminds you of God’s amazing grace and mercy. You might say, “Oh but you don’t know ...

I’ve been pondering all week on “giving the advantage” verses “taking the advantage”.  Those words speak volumes about a healthy relationship, and I can’t say enough about their importance. When a marriage is headed for divorce, I believe that “selfishness” is the cause (regardless of the circumstances) by one of the spouses, often times both.  “Taking the advantage” is bred by selfishness.  Taking the advantage means to manipulate, misuse, abuse, usually to get one’s own way.  Hmm.  Sounds like a child of selfishness to me. Selfishness is also the reason for backsliding from your relationship with God and refusing to include God in your life.  Self is a four letter word in my personal dictionary, and I see it over and over in couples as the major culprit that will quickly destroy a marriage, not to mention the plan that God has so carefully prepared for you. Below is a link for an article about selfishness on the website for the Institute o...

Twice, now, in the past ten days I have heard this explanation of love.  " Love is giving the advantage to someone, not taking it." One thing I have learned over my spiritual journey is not to ignore a message from God.  If He wants us to hear something, He’ll often relay it to us at various times and through numerous people.  I don’t know exactly for whom these words are intended (most likely, myself), but I do know I plan to add them to my long list of “marriage pointers”.  They speak volumes. We all know what “taking advantage” means.  We are programmed, in our society, to prevent anyone from laying this kind of abuse on us.  Sometimes, though, our heart interferes with what’s right, and we allow those we love to walk all over us.  It is a difficult, unpleasant role to take, one that we should never impart on our spouse.  It easily happens, though, when a couple begins to take each other for granted.  "Taking for granted" is the...