GPS to a Joyful Marriage

I am deeply concerned about the effects of electronic devices on this generation.  Although even baby boomers have been sucked into the spell of smartphones, tablets, Ipads and laptops, it’s the  millennials  that seem to have permanently attached themselves to these gadgets - much as they did as babies with their pacifiers.  A temporary separation causes panic and stress.  This epidemic, I’m afraid, is destroying relationships, particularly marriages. It saddens me to go out to dinner and notice all the people engrossed in their phones while missing out on needed conversation with whoever sits across from them.  Isn't that why we go out to dinner?  To have time to talk without interruption?  Conversation is the key to any successful relationship.  Without it, that relationship will die.  Rick and I went to Red Lobster in the middle of the afternoon last week and noticed that nobody was rudely playing with their phone.  Th...

I’m still touched about the story of the silversmith (my last blog post). In hindsight, when you look back at a difficult situation you’ve been through (a fire experience), it all makes sense. You clearly see the goal God intended for you. But going through it - that’s another story! When I think of living in the midst of a “fire“, it occurs to me how difficult it really is to see the hand of God in the situation. Yes, we know He’s watching us, He’s helping us, but it doesn’t always FEEL that way. I know He’s always perfecting us, but sometimes I just don’t FEEL like any more perfection! That’s where we get in trouble. We allow our feelings to be our guide. They often cloud our focus on God. It’s hard not to, especially for us women who are emotionally driven. Those darn emotions tend to get in the way of everything! I sometimes envy my husband. Life seems so simple and uncomplicated to him. He makes a decision and that’s it. Not me. I’m going to think about it and pray about it and ...

Honoring our marriage vows and convictions made to God will ultimately bring blessings from Him.  At some point though, we all experience “the fires of refinement”. Those are the difficult times in marriage. Many precious metals and silvers are refined in fire to remove the bad stuff in order to be made perfect.  Every couple goes through “the fire” or a “make or break” time in their marriage - to get rid of the bad stuff to bring refinement. How you handle the fire determines the future of your marriage. Sadly, in these days of rampant divorce, over half of married couples jump out of the fire without resolving their problems, unwilling to bear the heat. As people who choose divorce quickly discover, the fire only heats up when divorce procedures begin and rarely goes completely out, especially when children are involved, leaving little chance for resolve or resurrection. Withstanding the fire leads to a new understanding and a better relationship with greater love for ...

I believe one reason we find ourselves in silly arguments that escalate into full blown fights is that we don’t voice our expectations with our spouse.   I find that, occasionally, I will come to a conclusion about a situation, in my mind, and neglect to tell my husband, or even other people, what I’ve decided.  I move on assuming everyone knows where I’m coming from.  Of course, my husband should be able to second guess my actions  (ha ha!  That couldn’t be further from the truth!) ; we’ve been married for thirty-three years!   Needless to say, things don’t get completed very efficiently when no one knows what you expect, and a situation like this easily turns into a fertile breeding ground for arguments. Recently, we were in a social situation and nearing the time to leave.  I am such a people person that at a party, I want to talk to everyone.  It seems that Rick thought we were leaving and got upset with me when I wasn’t right behind ...

When I first turned my life over to God, one of my favorite praise songs I learned was “I Cast All My Cares.” “I cast all my cares upon You.  I lay all of my burdens down at Your feet.  And anytime I don’t know what to do, I will cast all my cares upon You.” Such a simple song with a powerful message.  To this day I still sing that song to myself when I don’t know what to do.  It soothes my soul.  You might walk by a window to my house, at one of those moments, and see the tears rolling down my face as I’m singing out to God with my arms outstretched wide.  The problems may not be solved or dissolved, but God gives me peace that surpasses all understanding.  I can then move on and not feel so crippled by fear or pain. If you struggle with turning things over to God, maybe you should find a song or a Bible verse that soothes your soul - something that reminds you of God’s amazing grace and mercy. You might say, “Oh but you don’t know w...

I’m guessing that some of you out there may be a little bothered about my words, in my past few posts, on the roles of men and women.  That would, honestly, be my first reaction also.  In this age, we have been taught to think quite differently than what the Bible says about our gender responsibilities.  We’ve been instilled with what the world tells us to do and don’t even realize it. For example, I was doing something in the kitchen while Rick watched television (our usual roles when we are at home – pretty typical for most men and women regardless of how modern we’ve become, don’t you think?).  A commercial came on for Dr. Pepper and its thirty-two new flavors (?!?!), and it ended with, “This is not for women.” (Or something to that affect.) I immediately responded with an emphatic, “What!  What do they mean??”  Rick laughed and we agreed it was a brilliant ad campaign.  I wanted to run right out and buy some of this new Dr. Pepper.  ...

After Adam and Eve eat the forbidden fruit, we see, in Genesis 3, where God lays out the roles for both sexes. Men -Vs. 17-19 “ Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life.  It will produce thorns and thistles for you, and you will eat the plants of the field.  By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food.”    God’s judgment on men – they’ll have to work hard to feed  and support their families.   Women -Vs. 16 “ In pain you shall bring forth children.  Your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you.”   God’s judgment on women - we see that this will be an area we struggle with all our lives.  We devote our time to our children, but our desire is for our husband. God has now given him work that will take up a lot of his time, often times becoming his priority,  and he will rule over us.  Not only do we yearn for more time with our spouse, but we ...