GPS to a Joyful Marriage

Since this is the week of the year that we focus on being thankful, I want to share with you my thoughts on just that. I’d heard it said numerous times, through the years, that we should thank God especially when times are tough.  Feeling down and stressed and upset is not usually a time we choose to praise God. Often, when I felt distressed in the past, I would try to be thankful but always came up with a thought to counteract my gratefulness. I might thank God for my wonderful house and then immediately think “Although this isn’t exactly where I want to live.”  Or, I might give praise for my amazing husband just to remind myself how angry I felt with him the night before. Why did I struggle to find something to be sincerely thankful about at times when life would get the best of me? (I guess I’m gonna have to blame this on sugar – the usual culprit for my self-pity times.)  Trying to give thanks during the storms seemed superficial to me – but I kept on tryi...

(This is a post from 2012 that I particularly like about waiting.) I struggle with waiting.  It came to me clearly as I waited at the bank the other day.  My handicapped brother recently moved to Florida, and I’m helping him make the necessary changes that come with moving.  I dragged my heels for a few days before I finally took him to the bank because I knew it would be an ordeal.  I knew I would have to wait.  I tried to plan the right day and right hour to go so that there would be a minimum amount of people competing for time with a teller.  It didn’t work out that way, though.  We wound up going on a Friday afternoon, the day and time I would normally avoid going to a bank.  I had to “die to my flesh” and do it for my brother because it needed to be done. I knew we couldn’t go to a regular teller, we’d have to speak to one of the specialty assistants, or whatever banks call them.  There were about six people ahead of us....

“As I wait upon the Lord I grow stronger.  As I wait upon the Lord I grow stronger.  As I wait upon the Lord I grow stronger, every day.  I’m gonna fly like an eagle.  I’m gonna fly like an eagle.  I’m gonna fly like an eagle, every day!” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QAgi0oqHQj0 These are the words of my favorite praise song with a youtube link to it.  It seems to be the song that soothes me the most and gives me the strength to carry on.   I don’t wait well.  I grumble when I have to wait in line at the grocery store.  I complain when I have to wait in traffic.  I have to be ahead of all the other cars on the highway.  I hate sitting in the waiting room of a doctor’s office for more than five minutes. Waiting has been the most difficult task I’ve had to learn on my journey to fulfill my God-given purpose.  (I’ve certainly been tested on it, of course.)  I’m a “make things happen” kind of person (like rig...

We all go into marriage carrying “baggage” from our past.  Our abilities (and disabilities) for love and relationships come from lessons we learned from our parents, good and bad. (I feel like I should apologize to my children right now.)  I recently read an excellent article from Focus on the Family’s  Thriving Family  magazine called “Patterns from the Past”, written by Kay and Milan Yerkovich.   I want to share with you the “love styles” from this article that the authors determined we learn from our childhood. These love styles may open up your eyes to what could be hindering you and your spouse from the healthy marriage you desire.  You might find you operate in more than one category.   The Avoider:   People with this love style often come from performance-based homes that encourage independence and minimize (even discourage) the expression of feelings or needs.  Kids respond to insufficient comfort and nurtu...

I’ve said it before and have heard it many times – men are simple, women are complicated.    Some men call us downright crazy.    While our thought patterns and communication may seem complex, it’s not a difficult task to make a woman feel loved.    Many men get overwhelmed by the multifaceted thinking of women and don’t realize how easily they can counteract that with a gentle word or action.    That, gentlemen, is an important fact you need to be aware of.    The simplest effort will go a long way. The problem is that we forget to show our spouse love.  We take it for granted that they know we love them.  Love is more than just a feeling; it’s a verb.  You need to act on it every day - actions really do speak louder than words.  You could say the words “I love you” three times a day yet never give your spouse time or attention, and I guarantee you, your marriage will not survive. I look at how challenging r...

Last week I shared some eye opening statistics about pornography.  We all have a “thorn in our side” that may hinder our relationship with God and with our spouse; many not as obvious as the problem of pornography.  It may get in the way of God’s plan for our lives -- anything that comes before God like pornography, television, electronic devices, alcohol, drugs, sex and so on.  How do we find the freedom to live our life according to God’s plan for us?  The freedom that will also bring us the healthy, satisfying marriage we desire? “No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit.  Each tree is recognized by its own fruit.  People do not pick figs from thorn bushes, or grapes from briers.  The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart.  For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.” “Each tree is recognized by its ...

I wanted to share some more statistics (thank you Pastor Donny) on something that has an even greater negative effect on our society than electronic devices (my last post) – pornography. Statistics and other Reference Resources on the Impact of Pornography to Marriages, Families, and Society Pornography's Impact on Marriage & The Family Before the Subcommittee on the Constitution, Civil Rights and Property Rights Committee on Judiciary United States Senate Testimony of Jill C. Manning November 9, 2005:   http://www.heritage.org/ Research/Family/tst111405a.cfm Complete Report reviewing all major research on pornography:   s3.amazonaws.com/thf_media/ 2010/pdf/ManningTST.pdf Impact on Society • Approximately 40 million people in the United States are sexually involved with the Internet 1 • 25% of all search engine requests are pornography related 2 • Sex is the number 1 topic searched on the Internet 3 • 15% of online porn habitués develop sexual behavior tha...