GPS to a Joyful Marriage

“Among all emotions there is one which, more than any other, accounts for the presence or absence of stress in human relations: that is the feeling of gratitude. [Take every opportunity you can to express your gratitude to others for them being who they are and for what they do for you and others.]”  Dr. Hans Seyle Pastor Garcia talked about Thanksgiving at church and brought up Dr. Seyle’s words about gratitude.  “Gratitude is the absence of stress.”  Dr. Seyle is known for his introduction of the concept of stress in a medical context in the mid-1970s.  He also says that gratitude is the most important of all human emotions. This “most important of all human emotions” seems to be way down on the list of significance in our present society except for the one day of the year when we celebrate Thanksgiving. We all state our obligatory “I’m thankful for” around the table on this food gobbling day, but other than that we seldom stop, in our hectic pace, to ...

Mark Gungor is a pastor of a church in Wisconsin and also has a ministry called “Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage.”  He’s like a standup comedian.  We’ve shown his video series at our church numerous times, and they are excellent.  Mark talks about the difference between men’s brains and women’s brains.  Men’s brains are separated into different compartments that don’t touch.  They can separate thoughts, worries, to-do lists, and so forth in their own little boxes, close the doors and not think about them.  Their favorite and largest box is called “the Nothing Box”.  They go there to think of … nothing. Women, on the other hand, have strands that connect every aspect of their brains to each other.  Our minds go constantly.  One thought reminds us of another which reminds us of yet another.  On top of that, we analyze every detail.  As usual, there are always exceptions to these rules.  Not everyone falls convenientl...

I'd like to thank all of the Veterans out there on this Veteran's Day, for dedicating their lives to the service of our country.  Many blessings on all of you! I'm away for the weekend in the Hillbilly Palace (our RV) with my own special Veteran and have had it on my heart to share something I'm sure I've shared in the past.  It is well worth a repeat as we have become such a busy society, and I think marriages and families suffer because of it.  I've yet to find out the author of this clever piece.  Enjoy! By the way, this was written before the days of computers and cell phones.                                                                                                           ...

I’d like to expose an old fairy-tale myth once and for all.  “And they lived happily-ever-after.”  First of all, I called it a myth which means there is probably no truth to it.  Saying that and knowing that, there is still a certain desire in our society, particularly among women, to find the person who can fulfill that dream. While divorce affects fifty percent of marriages these days, the pursuit of the ‘perfect wedding’ still continues.  Weddings have become a very profitable business that frequently adds new traditions and themes and schemes to bring the industry even more money.  The average wedding these days cost $20,000.00.    I’m afraid that too many young women become caught in the snare of their wedding dreams at the risk of settling for the not-so-Mr. Right.  So what if you divorce in a couple years; at least you had your dream wedding!  That seems to be a popular attitude.  Are people marrying for the wedding or matr...

Okay, here I am again learning about waiting.  I write about it, talk about it and laugh about it, but obviously God has more to teach me. As many of you know, my little Stewie (one of my Yorkies) has been in the doggie hospital since last Wednesday with pancreatitis.  I have been preoccupied with his recovery and a bit out of sorts.  He has improved and has finally gone 24 hours without vomiting, but he still has a ways to go.  I’m praying he begins to eat so he can come home soon.  I have felt led to share some of my thoughts about this event and what God is teaching me – as I wait.   First of all, I want to express my utmost respect and admiration to a young lady from our church who went through the most difficult experience any mother could face – losing a child.  I, by no means, would ever begin to compare what I’m going through with that.   This past week, though, has given me a deeper glimpse into maybe one day of what she wen...

“As I wait upon the Lord I grow stronger.  As I wait upon the Lord I grow stronger.  As I wait upon the Lord I grow stronger, every day.  I’m gonna fly like an eagle.  I’m gonna fly like an eagle.  I’m gonna fly like an eagle, every day!” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QAgi0oqHQj0 These are the words of my favorite praise song with a youtube link to it.  It seems to be the song that soothes me the most and gives me the strength to carry on.   I don’t wait well.  I grumble when I have to wait in line at the grocery store.  I complain when I have to wait in traffic.  I have to be ahead of all the other cars on the highway.  I hate sitting in the waiting room of a doctor’s office for more than five minutes. Waiting has been the most difficult task I’ve had to learn on my journey to fulfill my God-given purpose.  (I’ve certainly been tested on it, of course.)  I’m a “make things happen” kind of person (like ri...

I believe we are put on this earth to reach out to other people - to show them the love of Jesus through our actions.  In order to do so, it takes lots of practice at letting go of our selfish desires, much like our relationship with God.  What greater place for us to practice this then in our own marriage? It can be difficult to always “feel” love for the people we live with, especially our spouses.  After all, we are human and can easily annoy each other.  Showing love, though, is a simple task to do, even when you don’t “feel” like it.  It is a task that will reap great benefits, especially when partnered with sincerity and the desire to do so.  Besides, the more you practice loving, even when you don’t “feel” like it, the more authentic it will become to you and the quicker it will be returned to you.   We each feel love in different ways.  Gary Chapman narrowed it down to five in “The Five Love Languages”. You don’t want to make the ...