GPS to a Joyful Marriage

Okay, here I am again learning about waiting.  I write about it, talk about it and laugh about it, but obviously God has more to teach me. As many of you know, my little Stewie (one of my Yorkies) has been in the doggie hospital since last Wednesday with pancreatitis.  I have been preoccupied with his recovery and a bit out of sorts.  He has improved and has finally gone 24 hours without vomiting, but he still has a ways to go.  I’m praying he begins to eat so he can come home soon.  I have felt led to share some of my thoughts about this event and what God is teaching me – as I wait.   First of all, I want to express my utmost respect and admiration to a young lady from our church who went through the most difficult experience any mother could face – losing a child.  I, by no means, would ever begin to compare what I’m going through with that.   This past week, though, has given me a deeper glimpse into maybe one day of what she wen...

“As I wait upon the Lord I grow stronger.  As I wait upon the Lord I grow stronger.  As I wait upon the Lord I grow stronger, every day.  I’m gonna fly like an eagle.  I’m gonna fly like an eagle.  I’m gonna fly like an eagle, every day!” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QAgi0oqHQj0 These are the words of my favorite praise song with a youtube link to it.  It seems to be the song that soothes me the most and gives me the strength to carry on.   I don’t wait well.  I grumble when I have to wait in line at the grocery store.  I complain when I have to wait in traffic.  I have to be ahead of all the other cars on the highway.  I hate sitting in the waiting room of a doctor’s office for more than five minutes. Waiting has been the most difficult task I’ve had to learn on my journey to fulfill my God-given purpose.  (I’ve certainly been tested on it, of course.)  I’m a “make things happen” kind of person (like ri...

I believe we are put on this earth to reach out to other people - to show them the love of Jesus through our actions.  In order to do so, it takes lots of practice at letting go of our selfish desires, much like our relationship with God.  What greater place for us to practice this then in our own marriage? It can be difficult to always “feel” love for the people we live with, especially our spouses.  After all, we are human and can easily annoy each other.  Showing love, though, is a simple task to do, even when you don’t “feel” like it.  It is a task that will reap great benefits, especially when partnered with sincerity and the desire to do so.  Besides, the more you practice loving, even when you don’t “feel” like it, the more authentic it will become to you and the quicker it will be returned to you.   We each feel love in different ways.  Gary Chapman narrowed it down to five in “The Five Love Languages”. You don’t want to make the ...

I’ve said it before and have heard it many times – men are simple, women are complicated.   Some men call us downright crazy.   While our thought patterns and communication may seem complex, it’s not a difficult task to make a woman feel loved.   Many men get overwhelmed by the multifaceted thinking of women and don’t realize how easily they can counteract that with a gentle word or action.   That, gentlemen, is an important fact you need to be aware of.   The simplest effort will go a long way – for both male and female. The problem is that we forget to show our spouse love.  We take it for granted that they know we love them.  Love is more than just a feeling; it’s a verb.  You need to act on it every day - actions really do speak louder than words.  You could say the words “I love you” three times a day yet never give your spouse time or attention, and I guarantee you, your marriage will not survive. I look at how challenging re...

I’ve always had the tendency to look ahead too far instead of focusing on the immediate moment.  I spent excessive hours agonizing over the day my children would leave me.  While in Australia, with that thought heavy on my mind, I isolated myself from possible friendships and spent every moment I could with my children.  As they were very active teenagers, I had lots of time to feel lonely and sorry for myself.  Megan’s illness was an eye opener for me.  Now, instead of fretting over the thought of her going off to college, I had to face the risk of losing her permanently to death.  Leaving for college was so insignificant compared to that.  How pathetic I had looked in nurturing my selfish pity as I now faced the uncertainties for her young life.  I had to remind myself that she didn’t belong to me; she was loaned to me by God, to raise and nurture.  Her life was up to Him. I was tired of this struggle and didn’t want to resist anym...

I spent the first week in learning of Megan’s health issue in a state of shock.  As the amazing leader he is, Rick shook off  his state of shock after the first day and took charge to face the situation ahead of us.  He prayed with me, and I felt immediate peace.  I have always known the power of prayer, but I hadn’t experienced it quite so instantly as I did through the prayers of my warrior husband. That second week, though, my mind went in to overload.  I tend to analyze everything and what God might be trying to teach me through it.  Along with the awareness of struggling to let go of my children came the reality that I also had prioritized my children ahead of my husband.  Ouch!  It’s not so fun when you ask God to reveal weak areas in your life and He does.  It is part of this lesson we call life, though. Megan’s health began to deteriorate and she lost her appetite, quickly losing weight in the process.  We visited her su...

In May of 2003, we lived in Australia where my husband was the Defense Attaché to the American Embassy in Canberra.  Originally scheduled to leave in June, we extended our assignment for six months so our daughter, Megan, could finish high school there.  (The school year goes from January to December in Australia.) Megan came home from school on May 19 th not feeling well.  She complained of pain in her right side.  Her symptoms weren’t severe, but I questioned if we should go to the emergency room in case it might be her appendix.  One of Megan's best friends lived down the street, and her father was a doctor.  He came to the house to look at Megan and let me know if she needed immediate attention.  He carefully examined her abdomen and lingered there for a while.  He looked at me with concern and said, “I don’t think it’s her appendix or anything that needs to be taken care of tonight, but there’s something going on that won’t be quickly f...